1:14

This is a bit of surprising news from the other side of the Atlantic. AFC Richmond announced the hiring of their new manager won Theodore Ted Lasso. Of course, recently it was Coach Lasso leading the Division two Wichita State shockers to their first ever national title and American football. He took the shockers from a garbage program all the way into Promised Land in his very first season as head coach. But, For a lot of us, that's not how Ted Lasso found his way into our hearts. Certainly not into our living rooms. For me, it long be Ted celebrating a moment of joy with his team in a way that you really have to see to understand and then even when you see it, I don't necessarily know that understanding is, is what we're doing. I right on Ted. Do your thing man. And good luck with the most beautiful game

Beth 2:00

welcome everyone to Your Enneagram Coach, the podcast. I'm Beth McCord, your enneagram coach, and we're here to help you to understand yourself with astonishing clarity so that you can break free from self-condemnation, fear, and shame by knowing and experiencing the unconditional love, forgiveness, and freedom in Christ. Well am I glad that you are here today. Why? Because today we are diving into the world of the Hit TV show Ted Lasso

Ted 2:33

Be a

Dr. Shannon 2:33

goldfish, Sam?

Beth 2:35

Yep. Today's episode we're gonna look at two of the characters from Ted Lasso and watch their journey of growth. Now, if you haven't seen Ted Lasso, then let me first say that there is going to be an abundance of spoiled alerts throughout this podcast. So I just want you to be aware of that. And to start off, let me give you a quick rundown of the show now. The main character Ted Lasso, brilliantly played by Jason Sadiki. Is the fun loving type seven. Now Ted comes from my home state of Kansas and he is a college football coach, and he's done pretty well in the division that he's in.

Ted anEnneagram Type 7

Beth 3:17

But here's where the twist comes in. He's not a football coach in Ted Lasso. He gets hired to be the head coach of a professional football or soccer team in England, the Richmond Football Club. Now, this might sound strange at first, considering that Ted knows. Literally nothing about soccer, but that's the beauty of Type Sevens. They are so optimistic and adventurous that they're willing to take on new challenges, and they believe that it's gonna all work out. But as we dive in deeper into Ted's story, we'll see that beneath his cheerful exterior lies real pain and suffering that he's been unwilling and. Unwanting to acknowledge and deal with because it comes from the core fears and the core motivations of a type seven. Now, the core fear of the Type seven is being deprived, limited, trapped in emotional pain, bored, and definitely missing out on something fun. The core desire of a Type seven is to be happy, fully satisfied, and content. They struggle with the core weakness of gluttony. Now, this is where it's not just about food, though they do love lots of variety of food, barbecue sauce, but this is a feeling of great emptiness inside and that they have this insatiable desire to fill themselves up with fun experiences, stimulations, all in hopes of feeling completely satisfied and content. But their core longing, the message they long to hear is that you will be taken care of. So you can see how much Ted is actually suffering inside because his marriage is now crumbling. But despite that, what he decides to do is take an exciting opportunity to become the head coach of one of England's premier soccer teams. For him, this is a new change of scenery, something exciting. Hoping that everything will turn out fine, however. Reality hits him hard after being the coach and working with the team for several weeks, if not a couple months. His wife and son come to visit and he learns that his wife still wants to divorce him, shattering his hopes of reconciliation. See, type seven s are the escapist on the Enneagram. They want to escape from pain and hardship instead of facing his own deep wounds. In seeking help, Ted instead focuses on making sure that others are happy, encouraging them, lifting them up, and creating an atmosphere where everyone is experiencing positivity and joy. But as you can imagine, reality has a way of catching up to all of us, right? And pretend it came crashing down. When his deepest childhood wound becomes a triggering point for him in the uh, TV episodes, and this is compounded by the loss of his marriage and now his son living across the pond in America. Despite the challenges, Ted continued to shove down the pain and avoid going inward and introspecting on what's happening. Why don't you tell me what

Dr. Shannon 6:35

happened the other night?

Ted 6:37

Yeah, I don't wanna

Beth 6:37

do this. Now there's a saying that says, what you resist, persist. And that's exactly what's happened to Ted. It finally catches up to him and it manifests within his body as panic attacks. Now this is surely an unwelcome circumstance, but one that he cannot ignore. He cannot shove down anymore, so, Let's begin there. Let's focus on the journey of Ted Lasso as he learns to transform and grow in a new way instead of avoiding the suffering and pain. We want to see him embrace it so that he can grow and heal. We're gonna be looking at season two episodes five through 10. Now for the type seven, this can be a very hard journey. Well, let's be honest, growth is hard for all night types, right? It's just different for us in different ways. Self-care can be scary. But imagine for a type seven who is wanting to avoid pain at all costs and feeling emotionally trapped in suffering. Going to a counselor would be really hard. In fact, it would be like going to get a root canal without Novocain. In fact, I have a relative who's a type seven, and that is a direct quote from them. So you can see for Ted facing his fears is not something that he wants to dive into. He wants to avoid it and escape it at all cost. So is this

Dr. Shannon 8:09

your first time doing therapy?

Ted 8:11

No ma'am. My wife and I did couples therapy for a little while.

Dr. Shannon 8:16

How was that?

Ted 8:17

Well, let's see. I'm here in London and my wife is back in Kansas, which is a good thing cuz if she heard me referring to her as my wife still she'd be hopping mad. How long these little chats you do take

Dr. Shannon 8:28

sessions typically last 50 minutes. Hmm.

Ted 8:31

Okay. But you charged by the hour, right?

Dr. Shannon 8:34

That's correct. I take it you're not a fan of this kind of work. No, ma'am.

Beth 8:39

It is only when Ted finally admits his need for help and he has the courage to face his pain head on, that he can experience a new level of freedom, liberation, and joy. So you think I'm

Ted 8:53

scared, huh? Yes, I do. Yeah, maybe I don't wanna learn the truth,

Dr. Shannon 9:02

Ted. The truth will set you free, but first it'll piss you off.

Ted 9:11

Well, maybe your new nickname should be the truth.

Dr. Sharon an Enneagram Type 1

Beth 9:15

Now with his therapist, Dr. Sharon Fieldstone, who is a type one and played by Sarah Niles. She joins him on this journey of self-discovery, and you and I are gonna witness Dr. Sharon growing from being judgmental, rigid, and too serious into becoming more receptive, vulnerable, accepting, delivering the truth, but in a more kind and compassionate way. Two, Ted. Now Sharon is a type one. We talked a little bit about the type seven S core motivations, but I wanna share with you what the Type one S are as well. So the type one s are the principled reformers. Their core fear is being wrong, bad, and irresponsible. They desire to be good, ethical, moral, and right. But they struggle with the core weakness of resentment, and this is where they are really frustrated or actually angry with themselves, others in the world for not being perfect. And they feel like, doesn't everyone see what needs to happen? Doesn't everyone see what needs to be fixed? Why am I the only one that is doing the responsible thing? That's where the resentment comes in. But they have a core longing, a message their heart longs to hear, and it's to hear that you are good. And because of Dr. Sharon's core motivations and her not being, um, at her healthiest place at the beginning of these clips, what you'll see is that she begins off being more rigid, judgemental, and serious Morning, Collin.

Ted 10:46

Hey. Hey Doc. You in

Dr. Shannon 10:47

any trouble last night? Nothing I care to speak about at work.

Ted 10:50

Woo. Doc, you are more mysterious than David Blaine. Re in a Sue Graton novel at Area

Dr. Shannon 10:55

51. Will Ted make an appointment when you need to talk? Hey, I talk all

Ted 10:59

the time, doc. Just let me follow you around for 10 minutes after five. You want me to hush my

Beth 11:02

butt? However, as her relationship with Ted Deepens, you see her navigate in his world of optimism and playfulness that she begins to grow. Dr. Sharon learns to let go of that rigidity and expectations while embracing vulnerability, acceptance, and warmth winning couples from previous

Dr. Shannon 11:27

season. Hello, coach. I say, Hey,

Ted 11:30

doc, so tonight I'm just going keep checking in on you every 20 minutes or so. You know, a standard concussion protocol, but I'm gonna change my voice every time I call you, so it stays exciting for you. Have you been feeling

Dr. Shannon 11:40

dizzy or nauseous?

Ted 11:43

Oh, so that's what it sounds like when you laugh.

Dr. Shannon 11:46

I'm fine coach. Lasso. Well

Ted 11:49

then I'll talk to you in 20 minutes or so. Is sling Blade? Mm-hmm.

Dr. Shannon 11:53

Hey, Ted? Yes. I was scared today. Really scared. I love riding my bike. It's my happy place. And after today I was worried I'll be too scared to. Enjoy riding Everett again. Well, I would

Ted 12:13

say it fears a lot

Dr. Shannon 12:14

like underwear. No, I don't wanna discuss it. Don't need a pep talk, Ted. I just wanted to tell you how I was feeling.

Ted 12:22

Well, I appreciate it means a lot

Dr. Shannon 12:24

and I'm

Beth 12:24

glad I did it.

Type 7 and 1 Relationship

Beth 12:26

The interplay between the type seven and the type one is so captivating. You're gonna see them challenge each other, push each other's boundaries, but it's creating new opportunities for each of them to grow and to self-reflect. See each type, the type one, the seven, are connected to each other through a line on the Enneagram symbol. And this is where that they can access characteristics from both of their types if they're willing to embrace it. As we dive in, we'll show you exactly how this plays out so that you can gain further insights of not only the Type seven and the type one, but the many layers of the Enneagram. So grab your popcorn, settle in, and be prepared to go on a journey with me of self-discovery, personal growth, and the power of healing through the lens of the Hit Show, Ted Lasso. Now you might be a diehard fan or you're new to Ted Lasso. That's okay. I'm gonna walk you through step by step so that you can see exactly how their personality types are unfolding in a very specific way based on the Enneagram and their trajectory of growth. You're gonna laugh, you might cry, but all in all, we're gonna watch the highs and lows of Ted and Dr. Sharon as their roles evolve and as they grow. And I can't wait for you to discover this with me. Okay? So we're gonna dive in to the first clip. If you'd rather watch the clip, then just head over to our YouTube channel at your Enneagram coach. And you get to watch it all there. So in this first clip, we're gonna have the opportunity to observe the distinct communication styles and defensive strategies of both Ted Lasso and Dr. Sharon. So by understanding each of these Enneagram types, we are gonna gain great insights in how they uniquely interact with, um, others and how they express themselves. Coach,

Dr. Shannon 14:22

doctor,

Ted 14:22

floor, ceiling, trashcan,

Dr. Shannon 14:25

how you go? I was just checking in. See how you're feeling.

Ted 14:29

Oh, well that's my nice idea. How am I feeling? I don't know. You know, I, I'm just dealing with the terror of knowing what this world is about, you know, watching a few good friends screaming to let them out.

Dr. Shannon 14:42

So you're feeling under pressure. Ba ba ba. Bad dude. Well, my door is always open. And why even have

Ted 14:49

one? Yeah. Coach Beer can take that thing out for you. Jack Torren style with like eight. Good Wax. Five. Good wax. Yeah. I appreciate you checking in, doc. All right, let's go. Greyhounds.

Dr. Shannon 14:58

Woo.

Beth 15:00

So let's start with type seven, Ted Lassos, fun-loving character. Now, when Ted is less healthy, what you're gonna see is his communication style is gonna be more hyperactive, scattered, and he's going to tend to ad draw attention to himself by maybe telling grand stories or funny stories. But he's gonna use his charisma to keep the spotlight on him or something fun instead of something painful or too serious. So you're feeling under pressure Now. Ted is a master at reframing negatives into positives and avoiding anything that is too pessimistic or deep. However, if he is confronted with consistent negativity, Um, around cer certain circumstances, you're gonna see Ted try to escape and this can be through, uh, being funny or witty, but definitely he is not going to embark on those harder issues. You will see him deflect bob and weave throughout. How about I go

Ted 16:04

ahead and address the larger than average elephant in the room? No, I have never coached the sport that you folks call football. At any level, Jesus. Um, and heck, you could fill two Internets with what I don't know about football, but I'll tell you what I do know. I know that AFC Richmond, like any team I've ever coached, is gonna go out there and give you everything they got for all four quarters. Uh, what was that? Two? Uh oh, right, sorry. Halves. Yeah. They're gonna give you everything They got two halves. Win or lose. All right. Y'all do ties here. That's all right. That's gonna take some getting used to for me. Okay. Because back where I'm from, you try to end the game in a tie. Well, that might as well. I'd be the first sign of the apocalypse.

Beth 16:49

So as you see Ted start in this journey of growth, you are going to watch him shift in his communication style from what I just described, into a healthier. Relationship and, uh, communication style where he's still gonna be fun and lively, but he's gonna be more upbeat, optimistic, and joyful in his conversations, and he's going to be able to truly listen to others without overtaking the conversation, showing his, uh, genuine interest in other people's thoughts and feelings. Now if we take a look at Dr. Sharon's communication style as a type one, what you're gonna see is that when she's not at her healthiest, her communication style can be characterized as more of a teaching or correcting and even a judgmental stance. You'll see her become more easily irritated and opinionated trying to repress her emotions, but she's gonna also kind of have this veneer of displeasure.

Ted runs from internal pain

Beth 17:49

So, The defensive mechanism of the type one is AC reaction formation, and this is where they're gonna feel something pleasurable inside. But try to. Present a more polite or respectable or acceptable demeanor. So deep down you're going to sense this kind of more cur or cold and distant communication style when she's less healthy. Oh,

Ted 18:15

hey. Hey Doc, you in any

Dr. Shannon 18:16

trouble last night? Nothing I care to speak about at

Ted 18:19

Woo Doc. You are more mysterious than David Blaine reading a Sue Graton novel at Area

Dr. Shannon 18:24

51. Will Ted

Beth 18:25

make an appointment when you need to talk? Okay. Well, as you can see, Ted wants nothing to do with working with Dr. Sharon and diving into the world that she wants him to dive into. He is deflecting with loads of humor and wit, and Dr. Sharon, she doesn't budge, does she? She remains serious and professional at all times towards Ted. Now as we continue to explore the Enneagram types of Ted Lasso, we'll witness the interplay between these two, and it's really important to understand how their mind works both in healthy and less healthy ways.

Dr. Shannon 19:01

10 minutes to go. Since the amazing goal from chart spurs have completely marked him out of the game,

Ted 19:09

Richmond could pull off an incredible upset, but they need

Dr. Shannon 19:12

to hold their. You okay?

Ted 19:33

Yeah, no.

Dr. Shannon 19:35

I gotta go my stomach. What's that name? He said his stomach. Well, we've

Beth 19:44

seen

Dr. Shannon 19:45

this before. Lasso appears to be, uh, leaving. I know that Ron, that's the run

Beth 19:50

of a

Dr. Shannon 19:50

man

Beth 19:50

who just laid a bad

Dr. Shannon 19:51

fish pie. Chris, is there a good fish pie? They're from Barnet. I'll be right back. Okay, Ted? Oh, Ted. Oh, Ted scared me. Are you okay? I wanna make an appointment.

Ted gets a panic attack

Beth 20:38

Now in this second clip, we find that Richmond Soccer Club is the underdog at a very pivotal moment where they could win, um, the FA Cup, but they first have to get through these qualifying games to the semi-final, which will be at the prestigious Wimbly Stadi Stadium. Now the FA Cup is so coveted and Richmond hasn't even won a big tournament yet in their history. So there is a lot of pressure on Ted to come through and he is feeling it. But as a good type seven, Ted is no stranger to high pressure situations. But what is he gonna do? He is not gonna wallow in pain and suffering. No way. He is going to take that mounting stress and turmoil, and he is going to shove it down and focus on the n Nick's. Exciting thing, which is the game at hand. So he wants to get out there and cheer his team on and be positive. Now, in the first part of the game, Richmond finds that their best player, Jamie, taught actually scores for them, which is amazing. But as the clock ticks and gets towards the last 10 minutes of the game, the team and Ted need to stay in composure so that they can keep the lead and win. Now, this is a crucial moment, right? Ted needs to remain calm, but all of a sudden, everything internally starts to unravel. He no longer has access to his defensive mechanism of rationalization and reframing. All of a sudden the weight of the situation becomes too much for him to repress these feelings, and it manifests itself in an actual panic attack. He doesn't know what is happening to him. And remember, this is the final few minutes of this crucial game. He is caught in the grips of this panic attack. He doesn't know what to do and he's unable to muster up enough energy and courage. So what he does is he turns to his assistant coach, coach beard, and tells him that he has a stomach ache and he has to go. Ted recognizes that something deeper is at play within him, and this is the actual turning point for Ted. He knows that he can no longer dismiss this pain, so what he does at the end of the clip, you can see he finally reaches out for help. To the one he has tried so desperately to keep at bay, Dr. Sharon Fieldstone. Here we see Ted's journey towards healing and growth. As it begins, this path will be filled with both progress and setbacks, where he's gonna take two steps forward and a big step back. But even in these early stages, we can catch a glimpse of the incredible transformation that is lying right before Ted. Isn't that really fun to watch to see the actual representation at the beginning of transformation happening? Okay, let's dive in to the next three clips. In these next three clips. There are three sessions that Ted has with Dr. Fieldstone now, Dr. Fieldstone. Is ready for Ted in her own professional way, but is Ted ready for therapy? Well, you'll see this unfold in three different ways. As you know, we just talked about type seven s do not enjoy counseling. They feel like it's going and getting a root canal without Novocaine. And so Ted enters his first session with a lot of wit and fun and charm because he knows that he is confronting his greatest fear, which is being trapped in emotional pain and suffering.

Dr. Shannon 24:36

Hey Doc. Hi, Ted. Come in.

Ted 24:39

Sorry. Okay. Hey, I wanna thank you again for, uh, you know, helping me out with that little hiccup the other night. You know, I'm actually feeling a lot better, so I don't even know if this is necessary. Really

Dr. Shannon 24:48

make yourself comfortable. I. Okay,

Ted 24:53

thanks. Sit. You can sit here. Ooh, noisy. You know what? How I'll you know. I'll go on the couch. Here we go. How about that? Hey, who am I? Don Draper, right? Yeah. Little formal. Um, I want to put my shoes on there. Well, you know what? I lay down right? Here we go. Yeah. This,

Dr. Shannon 25:17

I can do that here.

Ted 25:19

Like this, you know, I had a couple kids on their top bunk on camp. I don't know where to do my arm. Here. It feels, yeah. Here. Oh, here we go. This is what we'll do. We'll go just classic like you see like in New Yorker cartoons, right? Oh, what? This under here help even out my spine. Then, oh yeah. That feels nice. Okay, now what am I do here? Do I just, no, it's like, like I'm going down a water slide or something like that. Like a luge, uh, God. Here. That's a little too cassy, isn't it? Okay. How about here? Let's do this. All right. How's this? This good?

Dr. Shannon 25:56

Probably sitting is best. No? Sure.

Ted 26:00

That's good. Okay. All.

Dr. Shannon 26:05

Yeah, there we go.

Ted 26:07

There you are quite intimate here. You know, close, close quarters Now you know what it's like? It's like we're on a episode of The Sopranos without all the gratuitous violence, which is a good thing, but a lot less spaghetti and clams too, which is a bad thing, you know? So, Hey, who's this guy? What's his story? You good buddy? Yeah. Okay, good. Very agreeable fella, you know, who's doing his thing? He got tissues over there, huh? Hmm. Yes. Tissues. Yeah. What are those four?

Dr. Shannon 26:40

Sometimes it gets a bit emotional in here. Mm-hmm. Not always, but sometimes. Yep, yep. Yeah. And sometimes people

Ted 26:47

just sneeze. Yep. Yeah, they do. Yeah. Yep. We both agree with you. Yeah. Yeah. My hay fever's been pretty good over here. Must be a low pollen count in the uk so, Okay. Alright, well, when do we start? We've already

Dr. Shannon 27:05

started. Hmm? We started when you entered in here. What?

Ted 27:09

Oh, shoot. Well, I'm sorry about that. I feel like I've wasted a bunch of our time already, you know, with all the couch shenanigans and just, you know, noticing your comans and stuff. It's, uh, Ted, but yeah,

Dr. Shannon 27:21

don't worry. Yeah,

Ted 27:26

of course

Dr. Shannon 27:26

not.

Ted 27:49

I mean, what do you wanna talk about?

Dr. Shannon 27:52

Why don't you tell me what happened the other night? Yeah, I don't wanna do this.

Beth 28:01

So what he does is he walks into the room and he's like, Hey Doc, I just wanna let you know that I'm doing great. Thank you so much for your help. I don't think this is necessary. Well, Dr. Sharon is steadfast refusing to buy into his strategies and instructs him firmly to sit down and get comfortable, and that they're going to do the therapy session well. This immediately triggers some anxiety that is happening inside of Ted, right? Like, Oh no. I'm gonna have to dive into my world of pain. So what happens? Well, the scene can make you laugh because we're going to witness the natural way that a lot of type sevens. Feel and express their fear and anxieties of having to go inward. See Ted as a type seven, all of a sudden becomes hyperactive, fidgety, and silly. He bounces from the chair to the couch in a desperate attempt to ease the discomfort that is within him. He has a lot of fear welling up, and so he is trying to navigate it the best way he can, but he's kind of caught, right? I mean, Dr. Sharon is right there. Well, with all this lightheartedness, Ted can't escape. All of a sudden he's facing Sharon face to face, and when she asks, let's dive in and asks him a hard question, he says, Nope, I don't wanna do this. And you see a classic Type seven in their escapist mode, leave. Now for a lot of us, we can think as viewers. Why can't he just sit there? I mean, she's just trying to help. Why can't he engage? But remember, this is his greatest fear. These are his greatest struggles to dive in. He literally feels he's going to be trapped in this, almost like you are trapped in a coffin. The fear that wells up like I have got to get out of here. By understanding this, it helps us that are not type seven s. Extend empathy, compassion, and be more receptive to those that are going through this just like we want them to be to us when we're experiencing our own core fears. But what happens in contrast is that Dr. Sharon, in this moment, she is not meeting Ted halfway. She remains her stoic, professional, and distant demeanor throughout the session. Her approach reflects her desire for Ted to conform to what she considers to be right and proper, and at this point, she is unable to meet him in a way that helps him to reciprocate. She is not willing to be optimistic, hopeful, and attuned to him in the way that resonates with him the most. Her rigidity directly affects Ted in a way that makes him want to stand up. And leave. It is not a safe place for him. So why should he unpack his own story there? Are you able to see how each of these two types have pain, frustration, and they're both desperate to get what they think they need and they do it in their own way and that they're missing each other? Yes.

Dr. Shannon 31:32

Hello, Ted? What's up doc? I'm surprised you came back.

Ted 31:37

Yeah, well I don't quit things.

Dr. Shannon 31:48

How are you Ted?

Ted 31:49

I'm swell. Swells fine. And Danny, how about you, doc? I'm

Dr. Shannon 31:52

well, glad to hear it. So is this your first time doing

Ted 31:57

therapy? No, ma'am. My wife and I did couples therapy for a little while.

Dr. Shannon 32:03

How was that? Well,

Ted 32:05

let's see. I'm here in London and my wife is back in Kansas, which is a good thing cuz if she heard me referring to her as my wife, still she'd be hopping mad. How long these little chats she do take

Dr. Shannon 32:16

sessions typically last 50 minutes. Mm-hmm.

Ted 32:18

Okay. But you charged by the hour, right?

Dr. Shannon 32:21

That's correct. I take it you're not a fan of this kind of work? No, ma'am. Why is that? Do you think you want the truth? I'm only interested in the truth, Ted. Hmm.

Ted 32:40

Because I think it's bullshit. You don't know me. We don't have history and yet you just expect me to spill my guts about all the gory details of my life. Fights the mistakes. My deep dark secrets. You ain't listening cuz you care about me. No. No, you ain't listen to me cuz you're paid to listen to me. You're getting paid to just jot down your little notes and diagnose my tears. And then what? Probably just blame it on my folks, right? I mean, you say you're only interested in the truth and yet here you are charging an hourly rate for only 50 minutes of work. Like I said,

Dr. Shannon 33:16

it's bullshit.

Beth 33:27

Now in the second session, With Dr. Sharon, Ted comes in with a completely different behavior, completely different energy level, and the way he's communicating to her is also completely different. So what's happening here? Well, this is one of the intriguing layers of the Enneagram. See on the enneagram symbol, each type is connected by two lines. Two, two other enneagram types and we take on some of the healthy, the, and the unhealthy attributes of each of those types that we're connected to. Now we don't become those types, but we definitely are influenced by them in both healthy and unhealthy ways. So a type seven is connected to both the type one, the principled reformer, and the type five, the analytical investigator.

Ted and Sharon's relationship grows healthier

Beth 34:15

So before we watch this clip, I wanna shed some light on actually what's happening here when Ted shows up. Instead of, like I said, being that fun-loving seven. You find him in a very stressful situation. He never gives up. So he tries to enter this once again, but deep down he doesn't wanna do it. He's resistant. He knows he has fear, so instead of being hyperactive, he actually moves into the less healthy direction of where his type one sits. So how this plays out is you're gonna see him come in and he's gonna actually be more irritable, critical, short cur. He's gonna also point out imperfections or inconsistencies, things that he perceives are wrong. In fact, he is actually being hurtful and judgmental towards Dr. Sharon's profession. This is very demeaning towards her, but he's doing it again in a way to deflect. Where he is uncomfortable, where he is anxious, where he feels trapped. It is another strategy to prevent pain. Now, these perfectionist tendencies of the type one, as you can see are gonna be spilling out and onto Dr. Sharon. Isn't it fascinating to watch this shift in Ted's behavior when he becomes stressed? Well, this is important to understand with the Enneagram. The Enneagram isn't just about putting you in a box. We ebb and flow. We have a lot of, uh, different layers within us. We have different parts that pop up and show up. You know what that's like. Well, part of me feels like this, and a part of me feels like that. We also see that we have parts of us that are moving towards health and then unhealth, we ebb and flow. That's why the enneagram is so fascinating. The first session, we see him fidgety and hyperactive. And in this session you see the one part of his heart to show up in a less healthy way, being critical and demanding of Dr. Sharon and very hurtful, but again, he just leaves again, he escapes. Well, let's take a look at the third session, and this is a remarkable pivot for both of them. Both of them are starting to meet each other midway. They're starting to gain empathy for one another and to see each other in a different light. Hello, Ted.

Dr. Shannon 36:52

I thought you'd be back. Really? Why's that? You said you never quit. Can I be honest with you about something?

Ted 37:21

Well, I got a boogie in my stash. I'm kidding. Sorry. Go ahead.

Dr. Shannon 37:26

I was quite offended by what you said about my profession, but just cause a therapist is being paid, they don't actually care. Let me ask you something. Would you coach for free? Yeah, I would. But do you? No ma'am. And yet you care about your players, right? Yes, ma'am. And why would you assume it's not the same for me? I don't assume that all coaches are macho, dickhead

Ted 37:57

thought's. Good point. Consider me dunk on and look, I'm. I'm really sorry about that. You know, getting all worked up and saying stuff like that. Then storming

Dr. Shannon 38:09

outta here, it happens. Self-care can be scary. Fight or flight is a natural response. You just happen to do both. Impressive range, really.

Ted 38:21

Yeah. Watch your bag, Glen. Close. So you think I'm scared, huh? Yes, I do. Yeah. Maybe I don't wanna learn

Dr. Shannon 38:36

the truth, Ted. The truth will set you free, but first it'll piss you off.

Ted 38:48

Well, maybe your new nickname should be the truth.

Dr. Shannon 38:53

Well, I can't be your mentor without occasionally being your tall mentor. Ooh, I like that. I knew you would. Let's get started, shall we? Yes, ma'am.

Beth 39:14

What we're seeing here is that Ted is beginning to confront his deep-seated fears and the pain that he has been avoiding for decades now, Dr. Sharon as a type one is gradually opening up to be more empathetic and understanding in her approach style. This session is a transformative moment for them both because in this session as it's unfolding, you're going to witness Ted being able to be more vulnerable. His typical way of being hyperactive and deflective is no longer there. He walks in. He is more sincere and introspective. You'll actually see him watch what he does with the little toy on the desk. The last two sessions, he made this little bird's head bounce back and forth, but in this session, little little bird's head was already bouncing back and forth. And he stopped it, representing how he and his internal world was becoming more calm and accepting that going inward and facing his struggles and pain was the right path to growth. It's truly remarkable to watch a seven enter this space because it's a highly anxious space, but a space of real growth. At the same time, Dr. Sharon demonstrates her own growth and development here, while still upholding her professionalism. She begins to soften her approach, recognizing that meeting Ted where he is, is going to help him to actually be calm. So she shows him kindness, she shows him vulnerability, and she shows him that she understands where he's at and that it's okay. The power of the enneagram shows us that when we do self-reflection and we're willing to step into our own growth, which is hard. Great things will start to unfold, and we're seeing how both of them are doing this, which is creating a more authentic and connected relationship between the two of them. And what I love about the end of that, she's inviting him with the Kleenex box to go inward, right, to dive within. And even though he is more, um, calm and resilient, And ready for transformation the best that he can. He takes that Kleenex box and he chucks it against the wall. In a funny way of saying, I don't know if I'm fully ready for that, but they both chuckle and laugh knowing that they can proceed together in the healing journey. Well, like I said at the beginning, this is gonna be a two-part podcast episode because there's just so much good to unpack. On season two episodes five through 10, we still have four more clips to go through and I want to dive into them with you and not rush them. So join me in the next podcast episode where I'm gonna unpack with you the last four clips as we truly watch Ted and Dr. Sharon grow, not only personally, but in their relationship dynamic together. I'll see you in that next episode.