Beth 1:11

Today is an incredible day. I can't wait for you guys to hear Mignon Francois, who has the most amazing story, but not only that, she gets to discover her main type today. So keep listening and I'll share with you after, uh, my coaching thoughts and how I got her to discover her main type. Hey everyone. Welcome to your Enneagram coach, the podcast. I'm Beth McCord, your Enneagram coach. And at YEC, we desire to use the Enneagram to bring real and lasting transformation to your lives and relationships. And we also Are deeply committed to training and raising up the next generation of amazing Enneagram coaches. Now, each of these episodes were blending and enlightening, uh, interview conversation with a special guest while also do doing live Enneagram coaching. This demonstrates the power of the Enneagram when using a coach. But stay tuned to the very end. I'm going to share some insights. I'm going to pull back the curtain and tell you some of the thoughts I had while we were going through the conversation and what my coaching mindset was at the time. So I think you're going to find this really intriguing. Our guest is super amazing. Um, so if you enjoy these podcasts, Please like subscribe and leave a review so others can find it and be blessed by it as well. Now, for those of you that are passionate about using the Enneagram to bless the next person, then our become an Enneagram coach training might be the right fit for you. So get our free mini course to test it out. And that's at your Enneagram coach. com forward slash mini course. But if you're another person who's like, Hey, I'm not quite ready for that yet, Beth, but I do desire deeper growth and transformation. I want to know more about my Enneagram type and how I can use that understanding for personal or relational growth. Then grab one of our certified Enneagram coaches at my Enneagram coach. com and that's my Enneagram coach. com and you can find a personal coach that fits you perfectly. Okay, with that, I would love to introduce you to today's special guest, Mignon Francois. And now she is a number one national bestselling author, entrepreneur, and renowned Baker who has inspired millions with her journey from going from barely having any money. So drowning in debt to building a multimillion dollar cupcake. Empire, which is called the Cupcake Collection. Now she leveraged, now listen to this. She leveraged 5 to feed her family and then turn it into a legacy with over 5 million cupcakes sold. Her grassroots story of success has garnered national attention from the Today Show, Southern Living, Entrepreneur, and Business Insider, just to name a few. Now, she is the author, and I love this title. She is the author of Made From Scratch, Finding Success Without a Recipe. Isn't that great? I gotta say it again. I just love that title. Made From Scratch, Finding Success Without a Recipe. And in it, she shares her story of finding success with no. Presets in place. Mignon is a sought after speaker and is committing to equipping and empowering people to change their trajectory in their lives. Mignon, it is so good to have you on our podcast today. Thank you so much for joining me.

Mignon 4:56

Thank you for having me. I can't believe that was me you were talking about.

Beth 5:01

Now, why is that? Tell me, why does that feel surprising? And I think that's a good question to ask because a lot of people who have had success, when they hear it, They're kind of like, wait, is that me you're talking about? So why, why was that kind of a surprise to hear all those amazing things?

Mignon 5:20

Because I know who I used to be and I know how hard it was to get to where I am. And when I look back on my life. And the things that I've experienced, I don't even know that girl anymore. And to be here now where I am, it's like, if you keep going, what could happen if you just keep going?

Beth 5:51

Well, and that's what I wanted to share with you after learning just a little bit about your story. And I really want to dive into the story now, actually. I wanted to share with you how really amazing and inspiring I was to hear your story. I mean, so correct me if I'm wrong, but you had 5 to your name, but you remain steady in your trust in God that he would multiply it.

Mignon's Story

Beth 6:16

So can you tell us more about your story, your passion and how others can remain confident in the Lord's plans in circumstances that really seem dire. So like you're saying, um, if you just take the next step. Just keep going. Keep taking this next step. And then all of a sudden, as we continue that journey, like you are right now, you're miles down the road from where you were and you look back and you're like, wow, I kind of forgotten that I was there, but I kept taking those steps. I kept trusting the Lord. So can you tell us a little bit more about your story and your passion?

Mignon 6:51

Yeah, I was drowning in debt and brokenness. I was losing everything that I had, including the house where the cupcake collection exists today and my 21 year marriage, I had been a stay at home mom. When my husband asked me for a divorce, I was. Devastated thinking, how am I supposed to take care of me when my whole life has been taken care of this house and these children. And so we decided to open up this bakery idea that I had garnered from listening to the radio where Dave Ramsey was telling people they could get out of debt by having a bake sale or a garage sale problem with the garage sale. We sold everything we had to get to Nashville in the first place. Okay. And then problem with the bake sales. I don't know how to bake, not even out of a box. But I had these really awesome daughters who know how to bake and I thought, well, I just sell whatever they were making at night during the day while they were at school. But shortly after I started, my youngest let me know, I'm really not interested in your little bakery idea. I'm going back to New Orleans where we're from. So I had to start figuring out how I was going to bake. I began to test it through science. I, I, I took my background in science and applied it to the recipe. And it was there that I began making chemical re. Action. So I tell people all the time, I'm not a baker, I'm a scientist. And I use those things to go out into the streets and I would see real estate agents in my neighborhood. I say, Hey, look, I don't know what I'm doing, but I got a baby coming soon. My family says it's good. I just need to know what you think. And they would offer me money on the street for what it was that I was making. And so as I began to be known in the neighborhood for what I was making, my neighbor knocked on the door one day and asked me to make cupcakes for which she was offering money. What she didn't know was I was sitting in the back of my house trying to do this Dave Ramsey baby step plan and I only had 5 left to my name and I hadn't fed our family. I was sitting in the dark because we didn't have electricity and we were running our house on a generator. So I would save the gas in the generator during the day so that my children could have normalcy at night. And then I would go to the Kroger on the corner of Monroe and 8th and I would buy jugs of water to warm over a burner in our backyard. To fill up the tub so that my children can have warm baths. That was what my life was like when she asked me to make cupcakes. So hearing the story of leveraging that 5 simply looked like, okay, God, I have 5 to my name. Why would you give me this opportunity when I have no money to take it? And I heard God say, but I feed birds though, and they don't store up in barns or toil for anything. How much more will I give you who looks like me when, when the. Flowers of the field and all of their splendor. Not even Solomon was clothed like one of these. And I was like, all right, so let me go to the store and buy what I can buy. I spent that 5 getting ingredients and I turned it into 60 that day. I turned that 60 into 600 by the end of the week. And I've been flipping that same money for the last 17 years to the tune of over 5 million cupcakes sold. An award winning recipe that belongs to me that I created in that kitchen, a house that I was able to save from foreclosure being voted as the top, the top bake, one of the top bakeries in the nation, we were ranking in the top 10 in the nation is the best cake in Tennessee and the best cake in Louisiana.

Beth 10:35

That is so fun to hear. Right. I mean, it's just so fun to hear it now. As you share that story. Cause when I, I was sharing, it was kind of like. What is she talking about? Like, you know, but then when you share it, is it feel different?

Mignon 10:52

Yeah, because it's like hearing those accolades. I always knew I was going to be famous. I just didn't know what for when I was little, I remember telling my mom, I'm going to be famous one day. And she asked me what for, and I said, I don't know. And she said, well, just be famous, baby. And that was, I just knew that God didn't waste this fabulous name I have on nobody knowing it. Right. So I just had to do my due diligence to make my name great.

Beth 11:20

Wow. Okay. So you've got 5, you're following Dave Ramsey, which a lot of us have, and. But here's the thing, and this is what I want. I love your story is because you're literally sitting in the dark, saving electricity for your kids, you're warming the water outside, you're having to go above and beyond what Majority of the people in the United States need to go through, and a lot of times there's people out there that are struggling, and we all, our struggles are unique to us, and, um, but a lot of times we get into this phase of, well, but I can't overcome this hurdle. Mm hmm. You had enormous hurdles and multiple hurdles. What helped you to continue to jump over them time and time again? Cause I'm sure, you know, like you said, you kept flipping the money, which is awesome, but I'm sure there was. It's a lot of time, a lot of work. And it's like, I can't scale this wall. What did you do in those moments? How can people follow your steps in their unique way, but also not get derailed from Thank The calling they have on

Mignon 12:45

their life. Yeah, I believed God. I was raised in a very religious household. And I believed that if God is who he says he is, he can do what he says he can do. And I decided to test it. And see if it would be real for me. What I realized was that God is not a respecter of persons, which means that if you've seen it done for somebody else, it's an indication that you can have it too. And so I remember having a come to Jesus talk with God, like God, do you love all these people in this neighborhood more than me? Because they have things, they, they, they have luxurious things. And I have not even the basic necessities. And I heard God say, Are you willing to put in what they put in to get what they get out? And I realized that that work was required of me. And I, I realized that if I took out these things that I had learned growing up in church and in Christian school and all of this, that I had been You know, taught over the years that if I put them in the practices, spoke them into existence, that maybe it would work because whatever was work, whatever I was doing before wasn't working. Yeah. And so. If I could just count it all joy when I experienced trials of many kinds, knowing that these trials come to increase my perseverance, that when my perseverance or my get through, when I get through my get through, it will be mature and complete. Then I would lack nothing. Yeah. All right. Well, let me see what that looks like. And I would take these promises of God and try to apply them to my life. And as I had little wins, Little wins, like turning that five into 60 that day and getting my first kitchen, a mixer, and then opening the store the night before the store opened, I didn't have paint on the walls. There was no counter, there was no display case, but when I woke up in the morning at two 30 to start baking, everything was in its place. And I just feel like as I learned that the more I was waiting on God, he was waiting on me and that I could. I could say what I wanted and I could feel this gut, you know, feel this gut inkling that would say, okay, go this way, go do that. It, it, it began to be a stronger voice that I could hear that would tell me, all right, do this now or do that now without any indication that it could actually happen and I believe that's why my transformation has been so great.

Beth 15:26

Well, and I love the, the fact that you didn't allow. What you didn't know to keep you from pursuing answers like, Hey, I can be a baker because I'm a scientist, you know, like I will figure this out one way or the other. And in fact, really doing it the scientific way is much better way, um, cause you dialed it in. And so I just find the perseverance that you've had, the resilience that you've had is. Truly remarkable and a testament to, you know, just God's power moving in and through you. Um, just one quick question, like, what were your children's thoughts? Because, you know, here they were like, Mom. I don't want to do this cupcake thing and then hear you take it off and it just soars. What were they just like tickled to see it all happen? My

Mignon 16:19

children, you know, you've heard the saying, you can't see the picture for the frame. I don't think that we knew what we were in. I don't think we knew what we were doing. I think we were just living. And all I wanted in the beginning was filtrate money. I wanted field trip money so that my children could have what all the other kids had. And as we began to get field trip money, and as we began to get senior dues money, and as we began to have gas money, something happened that made them more You know, inquisitive about, well, how can we get more of this? They never complained about the situations we were in. They never went and told anybody else about what we were going through. We were always just a really tight knit family. And what happens in my house stays in my house. And so as we were growing, we were growing together and it makes me, um, remember, you know, that we're all writing a made from scratch story. We just don't necessarily know what chapter we're on. And so for us, as we began to evolve and become, it's kind of just like, well, the book is finished now, now we can go back and tell people, this is what happened to us, but in the process of it, we didn't, I don't think we knew what, what was happening. Yeah. Does that make

Beth 17:40

sense? Oh, absolutely. And so I live in the Nashville area and the Enneagram is really popular here and it's getting popular lots of other places too, but where can people get these amazing cupcakes and cakes? Like I'm sure it's probably not just here in Nashville. So tell us like, you know, a bunch of places, but where am I going to go later today to get myself a cupcake?

Mignon 18:02

So the cupcake collection is in Germantown, which is a little, um, destination in North Nashville. The cupcake collection takes a lot of pride in putting Germantown on the map because before the cupcake collection, people were afraid to come into Germantown. And we're saying no one's ever, these are my neighbors. No one's ever coming into Germantown and they're not going to stand in line for anything, especially not anything gourmet. And we've definitely changed the narrative about that as Germantown is a very, it's a very nice place to go. Like I've

Beth 18:33

been to a restaurant there that I can still remember the luxury that, It afforded. So, well, you'll be seeing me at the cupcake collection soon. So, um, for those

Mignon 18:49

who aren't, for those who aren't in Nashville listening, we have, you can 24, seven order on the cupcake collection. com where we ship our cupcakes nationwide via our partnership with FedEx. And then we also have a store in new Orleans as well on magazine street in the historic garden district. That's

Beth 19:07

amazing. I love it. Okay. So everyone's gotta go get yourself a cupcake or two or three or 10, you know, whatever.

Finding Her Type

Beth 19:12

Right. Um, so let's dive into the Enneagram and it's my understanding that you have. You've taken a test a couple, or at least a time, and your scores came out even with four and two. And then one point behind that was nine. And so you haven't fully settled on which is your main type. Is that correct? That's true. Okay, so let's kind of dive in there. So this will be fun for our audience to hear because a lot of times I'm talking to people that know their type and, you know, we just kind of venture into that, but a lot of people either they don't know their type, they don't know how to find their type or their mistype. That happens all the time. And I think it's also good for, you know, you and other people to know that our conversation today, we may not land on it and that's perfectly fine. Um, it is a It's a path of discovery. Some people it's super fast and it's clear and that's amazing. And some people just takes time. So, um, I thought it would be fun to just kind of journey together and I'll kind of guide and lead you along the way. Does that sound fun?

Mignon 20:26

Yeah, it does. It's also a little

Beth 20:29

scary, right? Um,

Mignon 20:32

but I'm excited to know I've always, you know, uh, you know, That whole to thine own self be true. I've always wanted to know myself for sure on the inside. So we'll see.

Beth 20:44

Why do I think? I feel confident. Good. Good. Um,

Core Motivations

Beth 20:49

okay. So when I take people through understanding their Enneagram type, the main thing that we want to focus in on the Enneagram is all about the why. Why you think, feel and behave in particular ways, and that comes from our core motivations and the way I teach it at your Enneagram coach is that there are four core motivations. And, um, I will bring this up here so that if people are watching on our YouTube channel, you'll see this. Excuse me. You'll see this, um, on the screen, but for those that are just listening, I'll kind of describe it for you as well. So we have a free pdf download and you can go to your Enneagram coach. com forward slash core motivations and download one of these. Um, PDFs that show the nine types core motivations. So what are these core motivations? Well, again, this is the driving force behind why you think, feel, and behave on any given situation. So, you know, when someone kind of activates you or you get triggered or just a bit, pretty much anything, there's the core motivations behind the scene. So you have the core fear. This is what you're running away from, or trying to prevent this thing from happening. You have a core desire. The one thing you're like, Oh man, if I get this life is going to feel grand and complete and whole. And then you have a core weakness. Now this is. Um, a lot of teachers call this the passion or the deadly sin. We call it the core weakness because we are weak, but God is strong and we can recognize these weaknesses. They're kind of like your Achilles heel, the thorn in your side, the things that keep tripping you up time and time again in life. Um, now they won't go completely away until we're in heaven, but we can definitely grow in our likeness in Christ and get. Further away from this core weakness, but it's going to definitely take some time and it's going to ebb and flow. Then there's the core longing. Now the core longing is the message your heart longs to hear and experience. Now we're trying to get this from a lot of different things. It could be a spouse, a boyfriend, a best friend. It could be our children, a career, but it can spin out into gambling, um, addictions, uh, Buying clothes, material things, status. There's lots of things that we are trying to get this message from. But just like in Jeremiah 2 13, it says that we have forsaken the spring of living water, which is Jesus Christ. And we've turned and we've dug. So here we have this beautiful spring of living water that we can drink as much as we want and be fully satisfied, but for some reason we're like, nah, it's not quite hitting the spot right now. Or we don't trust it. We don't believe in it. And we turn and we start digging. And my husband, Jeff, he lived in Dallas, Texas, and you were in Louisiana for a long time, right? Yeah. So, you know, it is super hot. And so when he was, I forgot he was in his teenage years, him and his friend thought we're so hot. We want to dig a pool. So they are in the backyard digging a hole. Now when you dig a hole in dirt and you're going to put water in it. It's not going to work for several reasons. One, there's no lining, so it's just going to be mud, and the water's going to soak into the ground. It can't hold water. Well, it's the same things with these cisterns. With cisterns, uh, the things that we're striving after that we think are going to fill, fulfill our life, they're broken. And just like a coffee mug, if you pour coffee in and it's broken, it's just not going to hold the water. But the great news of the gospel is that Christ is the spring of living water. So when I get to the core longing, what's so fun is that where transformation really starts with the Enneagram is how we recognize that Christ has already satisfied our core longing. And yet we'll still feel this like, but I need more. Well, that's because we're not always coming to him in that moment. So what I thought I would do is we would go through, um, the, uh, to the four and the nine specifically so that we can kind of see which one pops up the most. Okay. So the type twos core fear is being rejected, unwanted, being thought worthless, needy, inconsequential, dispensable, or unworthy of love. Now the two desires. To be appreciated, loved, and wanted, but they struggle with the core weakness of pride, denying their own needs and emotions while using their strong intuition to discover and focus there on the emotions, the needs of others. So what they do is they confidently insert their helpful support in hopes that others will say how grateful and how much they appreciate the efforts that the two has put into their wellbeing. And then lastly, the core longing. The message, the two longs to hear and experience is you are wanted and loved. Now, how much does that resonate with you?

Mignon 26:02

Oh, it's like you just read my whole entire inner, my inner self as, as a, I know exactly when it began to, um, I was about, I was about, uh, eight or nine. And my mother had come to pick us up from my father's house. We had been there for about nine months and my father was in his room and I wanted to say goodbye to him and let him know that we were leaving. And so I knocked on the door and I was so afraid to knock on the door and I tiptoed in because he didn't answer. And I said, uh, dad, we're leaving. I love you. And he didn't say anything. And, um, I said, dad, did you hear me? I said, I love you. Um, and he said, how can I love you when I don't love myself? And I remember how that felt. I remember tucking that in and carrying that with me that my dad didn't love me and felt that way until he died. Um, only. Two or three years ago now, my dad has been gone, and I think I've been looking for that hole to be fulfilled. To the tune of, I got pregnant when I was 17, and my baby loved me. To this day, he adores his mother. Um, I wanted to be, I know that I have a top need to want to be wanted, to want to be loved, to need to be liked, to have a win. And I believe it started right. Knowing that the one man that I wanted to love me said that he didn't because he couldn't.

Beth 28:03

Yeah. And one of the biggest fears of the type two, and I think it will be good to still look at the four and the nine just to be sure. But one of the biggest fears of the two is The word rejection is to feel rejected and it sounds like that really encapsulates that story. Is that what you felt at that moment?

Mignon 28:28

Yeah. And I, I wrote extensively about this in my new book and it's, I wrote about it because I realized that sometimes when you go back and visit the places that hurt and make a new memory. You get to replace what hurt with something that is joyful, but it's definitely it's definitely been hard for those reasons to figure out. Cause when you read the four, I feel like that's screams my name

Beth 28:56

too.

Enneagram Paths

Beth 28:57

Yeah. So let's, let's go there, um, real quick. And that way we can just, you know, because the four and the. nine. Um, for those that aren't really familiar with the Enneagram. Um, let me actually go back up to here. So as you can see in this symbol, so the two is this teal, um, dot and then the four is this green dot and you see there's a line connected. So The two, if your main type is type two, you will take on some of the attributes of a type four. Um, when you're healthy and less healthy, um, they will come in. So it just depends on where you are, but the four can be an influence or vice versa. If you're a four, the two can be an influence. Now you don't become the other type. You're still remain your main type. And this is why it can feel so confusing. Like, well, why do I feel like there's these two parts in me? Well, it's because they're connected and they actually influence one another. But what is the one that reigns supreme? Which core motivations are the true driving factor? All the time. So that's what we're really trying to get at. So what that, what that knowledge does is it allows you to go, Oh, well, two and four are a part of me and I can honor that. I don't have to get rid of one or the other. They are both within me, but which one is my main type. So that's really what we're going to get to here. So let me go to the four. So the four's core fear is being inadequate, emotionally cut off. So someone telling you, you can't have your emotions, you can't express your emotions, being plain, mundane, defective, flawed, or insignificant. Now the four, they desire to be unique, special, and their most authentic self. Now they struggle with a core weakness of envy. Now this is where they're feeling that they are tragically flawed and there's something foundational missing inside them that others. Possess these qualities that they feel like they're lacking. So now the type four, uh, compared to the type two. So the type four, this envy, think of it. So the force have immense emotions and the force look inward at their emotions to try to discover, understand who they are, their unique being. And they want to display this uniqueness for the world because they feel that if they don't have a uniqueness to display, well, why would people love them? And so they're constantly looking for this unique, special quality that's different from others. And so that's why it can be really hard for fours in some ways to find the Enneagram and to find their type because they're like, wait, there's others like me? Yes and no, there's no one like you. And yes, there are going to be some commonalities, but you still have your own unique story, your own unique passions, desires, abilities, and so on and so forth. But there will be some attributes underlying that are the same. And so for the four, they want to be very unique and special and definitely be able to express all of their emotions. Now for the four, they long to hear you are seen and loved for exactly who you are special and unique. So the, the two is fearing rejection and wanting to be appreciated and affirmed. They feel that they must help serve, support others in order to get that love and affection. The twos have antenna that when they come into a room, they can literally feel other people's feelings. And. And, and since their needs, it's the superpower they have now, there might be times where they can realize, well, that's not my responsibility, but four or twos, aren't going to stop there because they fear that if other people know that they sense other people's feelings and needs, and they don't move in to help, they're going to be seen as selfish and rejected. So the two believes, Nope, I've got to move in. I see a need. I've got to move in. And. The twos will move confidently in towards others to help serve, support, give advice. There's lots of different ways that they can do this. It's not just baking something or babysitting. It's any form of help and service. But the biggest thing to understand is that they will confidently move in. And it can be sometimes really confident and assertive. Sometimes it's a little bit softer, but they move in because they're so afraid of others seeing them as being selfish and, and being rejected for that selfishness. Now the four on the other hand, fours are looking inward. And they're really examining their own life and their emotions are wide ranging and for them, they can see other people's needs and feelings, but it's still more focused on why am I defective and flawed? Why does everyone else seem to have it all together? There's something wrong with me. It's kind of like having a puzzle and it's going to be this beautiful, magnificent puzzle, but you get to that last piece and it's missing. And that's what a four feels like. Like, Wait, what? I want to present this to the world. This, this unique, uh, uh, portion of who I am, but now it's defective and flawed. I can't, I can't show this. I have, there has to be something more to it. And so they long for this completeness, this wholeness. And so that's why they long to hear you are seen and loved for exactly who you are. Special and unique. So just kind of seeing the differences and the two, cause obviously they both, and we all want to be loved, but you can kind of see there's just a little bit difference in the way that they operate for the love factor, which one feels more true to who you are at the core level.

Mignon 34:51

Uh, that's really, that's such a hard, that's such a hard, hard question to answer. Um, I guess if. I don't think that I'm really envious of other people, but I'm definitely always looking to be unique, um, and to be different, but not to the point where it's going to be, um, debilitating if I'm not, you know, there's always this longing to, um, be. Accepted or to be good enough and, um, even with all of the things that I've accomplished in my life, sometimes I feel like I haven't done enough and I need to be doing more. And I do, I compare myself a lot to other people. Okay.

Beth 35:47

And so this is what's so Enneagram because both the, the two and the four. Can have similarities in that and all nine types. So all nine types can, um, help all nine types can want to be unique, but we've got to pull back. So there's the iceberg at the top and then there's the why below. So a lot of times when I'm doing these. Um, typing sessions, I let the person know up ahead of time, I'm going to ask you a lot of why questions because we've got to get from that top of the iceberg, what we, what we typically see about ourselves and we got to get further down and down and down. So it kind of, if, unless I say this, the person can be like, this is getting annoying. Why do you keep asking why? But if I say it up front, then they're like, Oh, well, yeah, I haven't, I haven't gone a fur or far enough to really get to the why. So when you were saying you want to be special, the question that comes to my mind is why, what, what does that specialness give you? What are you seeking? What are you hoping for? And how do you go about being special and unique?

Mignon's Childhood Message

Mignon 36:57

Um, I think it's, I think it goes down to how I saw myself as a child. Like I wanted to, I always wanted to be special to someone like I have this middle child. Syndrome of my youngest sister is my dad's favorite and my older sibling is my mother's favorite and let them tell it. None of them have faith, but there's that feeling of always being felt like everybody overlooked you. And I just was always seeking to be special to someone that being first my husband. And then I wasn't special to him because he wouldn't have made the decisions that he made that left us in the space that we were in and then looking to be, you know, looking to find that partnership in someone who chooses me, I've never felt chosen specifically by anybody who could have made that choice. No matter how hard I worked at it, or no matter how great I showed up to be in it, or how I might have done all of the things that needed to be done that a person needed, um, I guess that op is special to my children, but now they're married and they have children and spouses who they have to They they have to come first. So am I supposed to cry right here? Like get

Beth 38:48

yourself together. No, you, you cry. That's, that's the beauty of the Enneagram because really what this is doing is it's just shining a light into the deepest crevices and that is where The beauty lies, but often we hide it because of the pain that has come from those stories. And yet it's also the very beauty that has propelled you to bless people with your company today. Would you agree? Yeah. So tell me how.

Mignon 39:24

In the end, I know that the difference is that I figured out that I'm special to God. And in what way? If I'm not special, if I'm not special, well, I believe God loves me more than anybody else. And I believe he has the ability to make anybody feel that way. Yeah. God chooses to call me by name and wake me up in the morning, clothe me in my right mind and give me an opportunity to get it right. He, he speaks to me. He's given me this opportunity to provide for myself, to have this experience of coming from nothing and living in more and not having lack and, and not being in want. Um, He's allowed me to gain favor in the world, not only with him, but also, you know, with man. Um, I don't have to fight, um, to be recognized. Other people will fight that battle for me. I believe all of that comes from God. So on one end, it's that, you know, wanting to have that sort of chosen relationship, but in the end, God provides it to me.

Beth 40:47

When you, and let me, let me pull up number, uh, type nine, because, um, I want to make sure that. We're not missing that one either. So the type nine is the peaceful accommodator and the nines fear conflict tension of any kind, uh, discord, feeling shut out, overlooked, uh, losing connection with others, um, and in their relationships. So that really is, you know, oops, hold on one second. I just moved. Sorry, mate, you'll have to come back here. I just moved it and it went to the TV. That's not on right now. There we go. Let's see. Okay, here we go. Okay, so the nine fears, losing connection with others, any kind of discord, turbulence, they. All they're desiring is inner stability and peace of mind. So what you find with nines is this core weakness of sloth. Now it's not a physical laziness, even though as nines, we like our cozy comforts, but it's remaining in an unrealistic and idealistic world in order to keep the peace remain easy going and not to be disturbed by their anger, falling asleep to their passions, their abilities, their desires, needs, and their worth. By merging with others to keep the peace and harmony and nines, they long to hear your presence matters. Does that resonate just as much more or less than those other two? Probably.

Mignon 42:29

I mean, it resonates, but not as much as the other two.

Beth 42:34

Um, And this is what I love about the Enneagram because we use all nine types to varying degrees and different amounts. And so the nine has a part that it plays within you, but it sounds like it's just not, it's not hitting the same chord as these other two, which is, which is great. So, um, so there we go. Um, so as we look at the four and the two, the there's. Um, there's several differences that I kind of want to point out and to kind of help you to solidify which one might be your main type. And like I said, if we, if we don't find it, no problem. The, the four is really focused in on their identity, their unique significance, um, their emotions. And they really can't move forward unless they have dealt with their emotions. So think of the two or the four really going inward and understanding their emotions. They also are the emotional reactive type. They also are the withdrawn type. So they will withdraw to deal with their emotions so that they can then move forward in life. Um, the type fours. Also feel very disconnected with both their parents, and they feel like there's something insignificant and flawed about them, their emotions, they typically go into what is the normal state for them is melancholy. Now, a lot of people that hear that they think, Oh, well, that's depression. No. It's not depression is different. So melancholy, uh, a four that I'm friends with, he called it the sweet melancholy of the soul. And that's just a perfect way of four describes it. It's the waters they swim in. And it's not so much that. They're depressed, though fours can be depressed, but so can everyone. It's that they are in tuned with the emotions, the depth of emotions, the authenticity of emotions, the realness of emotions to them. It's very important to be real and authentic in all categories, but especially emotional reality. And the fours will actually. At times they will kind of fantasize and imagine how other people are feeling about them. And they actually believe that that is actually true and is happening when it may not be. And so that's where the envy comes in because they're like, why is everyone else have it all together but me? Like what's wrong with me? I just want to be seen and loved for exactly who I am and I'm not. So therefore I have to find this uniqueness to display to the world. So that I can belong that's a big word for the four I can belong and the two on the other hand and I'll Bring that one down so we can just have it in front of us the two on the other hand Like I said, they fear rejection and for them they need to be needed now, of course, this is all we're talking about All the things when they're less healthy, of course when we get healthier a lot of these things change and transform but when the two feels in Like they can just be dispensed that they're disposed by others that they're not needed or wanted. They will start to panic because in their mind, the way that they are loved is by giving, serving, helping in some form or fashion and others seeing it and feeling it and showing their appreciation. Oh my gosh, thank you so much. You're amazing. Or that was such a gift. Those, and when they don't get enough of that, they're going to feel depleted. And so they're going to create needs. in others dependencies so that they can hopefully hear that. Now, of course, this is when we're not at our best. Um, but here's, what's so great about the Enneagram is, so those are the two and the four, but I also want to paint a picture of when they're healthy, the two, when they're less healthy, they will insert their health. They will manipulate to get others, to need them, to have dependencies on them because they. They feel a lack of love and, um, being wanted. Now, what happens when the two feel, knows and experiences that Christ says to them, you are wanted in love because Christ pursued them, right? Christ did everything for them because he loved and wanted them back in relationship with him. When the two. Feels that and embraces that or drinks the living water all the time there. The two doesn't need to insert themselves because they already know they're special and loved by God in that way. Now, the four, they can look at their puzzle and they can say, you know what? On this side of the fall, I am defective and flawed. There is something missing, but so is everyone else. But the good news is that God created me in such a way that is special and unique and that. I am loved by him for exactly who I am. And in fact, I've been saved and redeemed even with all the flaws that he truly loves me right there. So you can kind of see how the two and the four can really suffer, but how they can also be at their best, which one seems like that would play a much bigger role. In your life than the

Mignon 47:48

other,

Enneagram Type 2

Mignon 47:49

it's definitely a two because, um, I could see where if I'm unhealthy, I might have some of the characteristics of what being a four is, but I'm mostly joyful. And if I start feeling down or I start feeling like. Melancholy or something like that. I'm getting out of that and I'm going to find a way to get out of that. If I've got to get somebody else to make me come out of it or help someone so that I can come out of it, that's where I'm going to be. I'm not going to stick, stay in a depressed state. Um, I'm going to seek opportunities to find joy and that my, and I know what those might look like. So I definitely think. That means that I wouldn't be a four.

Beth 48:39

Yeah, no. And I love that. This is why it's so fun to unpack the Enneagram because you're seeing how these two play a role in your life, which is great, but you're also starting to see like, okay, wait, the one that rules at the end of the day is, and the twos, the sevens and the nines are the optimist on the Enneagram. They don't want to sit in the pain and the sorrow they want to. Paint a brighter picture. So the nine is going to encourage people and receive them and be nonjudgmental. And people are going to feel like the warm and fuzzies from the nine, the seven is going to reframe everything. Like everything's a possibility and this is fun. And the two is like, Hey, I don't want you to be sad. I don't want to be sad. So I'm going to move in with some help and support. We're going to, we're going to move from point a of stock to point B of growth and doing something amazing. Y'all are going to come with me and this is going to be a great adventure where we're all going to, you know, do really well. The four, their perspective in that would be very different. It would be like, no, that's not being authentic and real. You have to work through the emotions. You have to know them and experiencing them. Now there will be times for you as a two that you will go to that four and you will experience those moments. But again, as a. As a two in your hardwiring, your mind is like, but I'm not going to sit there. So you'll experience it, but it won't be an everyday all day or a week or a month type of thing. And so that's what makes it really kind of, I have a, I have a

Mignon 50:11

really big issue with sitting in emotion. Unless they're happy, you know,

Beth 50:18

yes, and, and that's so true for the two. Now, here's a question I have for you, but if someone else comes to you and they're sad and they have needs, are you able to sit there and. And, and, or what do you do when someone comes to you in that moment?

Mignon 50:36

I can, I can almost feel people, you know, when I go into a room, I could cut the tension with a knife. I know, I know what's happening. It's almost like a sense that I feel that someone needs something or it'll just come into my heart to call. A friend and say, how are you on my mind? I was just thinking about you and it'll inevitably be what they needed at the time. So I definitely feel like I totally was off base ever thinking that I might be a four, except that, you know, that desire to be unique and different and special, but probably that's more in the times when I am not doing.

Beth 51:26

Well, so the two when, so in Enneagram kind of 101, they'll talk about when twos are under stress, they actually move towards eight and that's when they get very protective and assertive and insisting kind of their way there. Big diesel snow plows, whether they're plowing or people, but usually when they're stressed or plowing, you know, against whatever it is that's in the way, what usually for others, they get mama bearish now, then people will usually say, Oh, but when a two is going to four. Four that's in growth. And those are true. But what people don't understand is that a deeper understanding of the Enneagram is that a two can go to the healthy parts of eight and a two can go to the unhealthy parts of four, two. So there are going to be times where you do experience that fourness quality, um, in the less healthy ways. But also what's beautiful about the two is the, when they see. So the twos usually are not focusing on themselves. They feel like that's going to be selfish and they're going to be rejected. So they have to focus on others in some form or fashion to garner that love and that, that they're wanted. But when the four recognizes kind of like on an airplane, when the stewardess says in an emergency, put your own mask on first and then help others, you can only help other people when there's no oxygen in the airplane for maybe a few seconds, and then it's gone. But the two is like, no, I can do it. I could keep going. I can keep going. And, but you can't, and you will experience and others will experience the deficit of trying. So the two, when they're actually healthy, they'll start to learn. Okay. I need to put my own mask on. So what does that actually mean for the two? And what that means for the two is they have their own needs and their own emotions that they need to tend to. It doesn't mean they have to be so self focused that they're not helping others, but it. They need to take care of themselves enough so that they can then take care of others. And what I've heard from you in just this short period of time is you are tapping into the core longing that you are wanted and loved in the spring of living water. That is where you. Are enabling yourself to be filled up your, your love bank, if you will, you are getting that from God knowing he does love me and want me. I am special to him. I'm not rejected, though. I may have felt that from my earthly father. I am not that to my heavenly father. And so it's what it is. What I hear from you is that trajectory, that fulfillment in which then helps you to move forward, but it's a self internal reflection, bringing the Holy Spirit and the truth of the gospel. So it's the four, right? So getting in your emotions and your needs and allowing God to fulfill that so you can then go do the incredible work that you're called to do. Does this. Capture it for you. So tell me what it's like. I just, I would just love to hear what is it like when someone's special and dear to you could be a family, friends, or anyone that's special and dear is being marginalized, hurt, harmed. At the mercy of injustice, what, what happens in those instances? Do you become that mama bear?

Mignon 54:55

I'm definitely, I'm definitely a challenger in that space. Yep. I will, I will fight you. Yes, exactly. I will fight you for what I love. Um, and I, I feel like I always am looking to fight for what's right.

Beth 55:14

Exactly. And so here's what's so cool. So I'll put the, this, um, back, back up on the screens and I'm going to show you that symbol again. So I'll see if I can make it bigger. I don't know if I'll be able to, here we go. So And you guys can see this on YouTube, our YouTube channel. But so as you can see, the two, the teal color is next to the blue, which is the type one, and it's also next to the green, the type three. So here's what's really intriguing about you as a two. So not only the you're connected to the eight, which you can plow a path for others, like don't mess with my people. Um, and the four where you're. Feeling the depth of emotions and, um, the creativity and the uniqueness that you can bring to people, but the one wants reformation, wants reform, wants principle, wants to do what is right and good, but then the three wants to excel, to be efficient, to, um, to, Achieve what feels like is not possible to achieve. And so with your story, what I hear is this beautiful type two that was in a place of struggle, but you tapped in to your eight. So you plowed a path for your family in a healthy way. You plowed a path for your family by understanding their needs with, which is the four in a unique way, which is cupcakes. You did it with resilience and you were like, Hey, nothing's going to stop me. And that's what a three can do. Like, Hey, we're going to make this happen. Here's the steps that I got to take. And then the type one part of your heart is like, but I'm going to do it in the right way. And I'm going to honor God, but it's all coming from the heart of a two that. I want to serve and bless others while also it blessing me and my family. Does that encapsulate a lot of your story?

Mignon 57:05

I definitely, I definitely think that was a great explanation of who I am.

Beth 57:11

Yeah. And that's, Yeah, and that's why I love the Enneagram because a lot of times people, like you were saying at the very beginning, like I'm a little apprehensive of going here. And a lot of people are because it's like, what is it going to expose? The Enneagram exposes our glory all the way down to our not so good spots. And usually as humans, what we do is we usually focus in on those not so good spots. That's just natural. We just kind of zone in there. And then we start to wallow in fear and shame and self condemnation. And it kind of can spin us out, but the Enneagram isn't wanting you to stay there. Yes, we, we need to know those things. So we don't go there. So I paint the picture of driving on a highway. The Enneagram is your map, you know, your GPS, and you're going from being stuck to a healthier life for your personality type. But the Enneagram is like that rumble strip on the highway. So when you start to veer off course, so as a two, when you start to create dependencies and others, and you need them to need you because you're feeling depleted and that you don't want to be rejected, you want to be loved. When you now start to see that and experience that you can go, Oh, whoops, uh, I'm in my rumble strip and I have a choice to make. I can either continue on this trajectory like I have in the past, or I can steer into a healthier. Uh, way knowing that I actually right now I'm doing these things because I have a need and my need is that I'm feeling maybe rejected. I'm feeling, um, unworthy. I'm not feeling valued. And so I'm trying to get it from other people or circumstances situations, but I don't need to do that. Because God has me. And so that's when you pull in and you go in deep with the gospel. And that's where you're getting fulfilled, which allows you then to excel. And so that's how the Enneagram can really work as you move forward, not in a place of shame and condemnation, though, we'll go there. We don't want that. Christ already took care of all that. He put that on the cross. What he wants is us to experience his unconditional love. His forgiveness and his freedom. And that is what we're trying to do here. At least at your Enneagram coach is to say you are a beautiful type to guy created you that way. He wanted you to bless the world with these cupcakes because they make people happy internally in their mouth. And then their mind, right? All the, these things are firing, but it's also a beautiful story to say to people, he made you. And there are places to go that are unique and special and you are out there sharing that with others, right?

Mignon 59:45

Yeah, that's really, that's so good.

Beth 59:50

So, unpacking your two ness, what are you thinking and feeling? How, how does this make you feel now?

Mignon 1:00:02

Well, like I said, I'd never, when, as I was looking at being, uh, I wasn't sure what I really was, whether I was a two or whether I was a four, um, but I definitely know now that, um, it's, it's all, as I look at what I said to you earlier, I know I have a need. To win. I know I have a need to be loved. I know I have this desire to be liked and to achieve, you know, just maybe it's just who I was always. Intended to be

Beth 1:00:37

well. And that's, what's so interesting when we look at our unique story. So for you, when your dad said that, that would have hurt any of the nine types. Right. So, but it's going to hurt the nine types in a different way and they're going to react to it in a different way. So for me as a type nine, man, when you said that my heart just. I just wanted to give you a big hug, um, because for me as a nine, I want to know that my presence matters. And that would have been a message that just literally said your presence, you don't matter end of story. And that would have swallowed me up, but all the nine types would have felt it from their own unique perspective. And so it's good for us to unpack our stories. Not to wallow in it, but to heal from it and see it for what it is and why we think of it in that way so that we can heal and we can grow and then bless others with what we are created to offer others. And that's really what I'm seeing you doing with the cupcake collection. Would you agree?

Mignon 1:01:43

Yeah, and I would say that that was the whole reason why I wanted to write this book. I wanted to write the book to let other people know that they were not alone. I wanted to be transparent with the things that had happened to me and what I had learned through those so that while I felt alone, other people didn't have to feel alone because they could hear themselves or see themselves through the things that I was going through and so it was all about Going through the process to go back to the things that hurt me and create a new experience so that those things couldn't hurt me anymore and hoping also that I give other people the tools that they can find this same revelation in their own life to be able to write their own. Made from scratch story. It was all, it was the whole reason that I did

Beth 1:02:35

it. Well, I just want to say it has been such a blessing to get to know you, to hear your heart, to hear the overflow of love you have for others through your story. And I really genuinely hope that people will grab your book made from scratch because I think they're going to uncover their own story as well. Um, But I think the thing I've heard the most from you is resilience, you know, and how Christ gives us the character and the resilience to not only bless others, but to bless our own story, right? Um, and he flows in and through us. And so I just really thank you. For persevering and for being here, being authentic and real and kind of sharing with us your story. I know everyone wants to get connected with you now, because like that we're really connected. We know you. So where can people find you? Well, we know that they can find you in Germantown and Nashville and they can buy your cupcakes at the Enneagram. I mean, not the Enneagram collection. That's my journals, thecupcakecollection. com. Is that right? Yep. And then, okay, so on Instagram and what's your handle

Mignon 1:03:55

My, my favorite place to hang out for people to get connected with me is on Instagram at Mignon. Francois.

Beth 1:04:01

Oh, I love that. Um, well, thank you so much. Um, it really has just been a special joy for me to be with you today.

Mignon 1:04:10

Thank you for helping me to, to, to place that, you know,

Beth 1:04:17

the nurturing supporter of the type too. Yeah,

Mignon 1:04:20

it all makes sense. Okay. Thank you for that.

Beth 1:04:23

Well, thank you guys for being here today. And for some of you that are listening, you're like, wow, that is an incredible experience. I am struggling to find my type. And Beth was able to nuance that. And so as I'm listening to what's going on with her, I'm hearing words. I'll be honest. There was a lot of times I'm like, yep, there's a four. Yep. There's the two. And then there was a moment of, well, I do hear a little nine in there. And so, I am listening and, uh, and kind of calculating all their responses and asking curious questions so that we can unpack more of why she's thinking and feeling particular ways, because a lot of the times I was hearing a lot of force into a state. Two ish stuff. So I needed to unpack a little bit more, and this is what we train our certified coaches. And so if you're stuck, or if you know, someone that's stuck, have them go to my Enneagram coach. com to get their personal coach so that they can unpack their type, but also move into exploring their type. That's what our coaches are. trained to do is to explore your type. Now, if you're like, man, that's awesome. I would love to coach. Well then join us, um, by going through our, become an Enneagram coach training, and you can get a taste of it for free at your Enneagram coach. com forward slash mini course. Well, thank you guys so much for showing up today. I hope as always, you remember that the Enneagram reveals your need for Jesus, not your need to work harder because it is the gospel that transforms us. I'll see you guys next week on Your Enneagram Coach, the podcast.