Beth 1:11

Hey everyone. It's Beth McCord, your Enneagram coach, and this is your Enneagram coach, the podcast and here at YEC, we desire to help you to understand the Enneagram so that it can bring real and lasting transformation to your lives and your relationships. But we're also committed to raising up the next generation of amazing Enneagram coaches. Now each episode, what I'm trying to do and I'm enjoying doing is having a special guest come on introducing you to them, but also then diving into the Enneagram and seeing how Enneagram coaching can transform lives, bring this astonishing clarity to our guests in the moment. Um, so you get to kind of see behind the scenes of coaching, because at the end, I'm going to tell you a lot of like the thoughts I had as I was going through the coaching process and our conversation together. If you find that you are really enjoying this podcast, please like subscribe and put a review so that others can find it as well. Now, for some of you out there, you're intrigued by what Enneagram coaching is. And if that's you, then becoming an Enneagram coach might be the next best step for you. I recommend that you get our free mini course at your Enneagram coach. com forward slash mini course to see what it's all about. But if you're also like, no, I'm not quite there, but I really want my own personal transformation, then getting your own personal certified Enneagram coach is the next best step for you. So we have lots of these amazing certified coaches. So go to my Enneagram coach. com to find your coach there. And with that, I love to dive into today's episode and introduce you guys to a very special guest, but she's also a friend and my own hairstylist, Taylor Knick. Taylor Knicks entire life has been a pursuit of the meaning of beauty. This began with a degree in fine art, led to cosmetology, and then bloomed into the journey to go beyond what is skin deep and discover all that contributes to what is true beauty inside someone's soul. Through the course of this journey, she has styled celebrities on the CMA red carpet here in Nashville during the Nashville fashion week, but her questions about nature and inner beauty have led her to pursue learning and gaining more certifications in the healing arts. She recently then opened up this amazing new space, this new coworking space in the Nashville area called the healing society, which is where she does my hair now. And it is gorgeous. Um, this is a safe place for inner transformation. And what she's doing is she's bringing together. other practitioners in the healing space that have lots of wide range of modalities and healing practices so that people can come and get true inner healing there. Well, Taylor lives in the Nashville area with her husband of 15 years and her two sweet little boys.

Meet Taylor

Beth 4:12

Well, Taylor, it is so great to have you actually in my space now, instead of me always being in your chair, Actually, I'll be there tomorrow, which I'm excited about. Um, thanks for joining

Taylor 4:23

me. I am so honored to be here. I love getting to see you do your thing. You are just exceptional at teaching and speaking and communicating. And it's like a real treat to get to witness it. Like,

Beth 4:36

I mean, it is kind of fun because I'm always witnessing your great work. Right. And so, yeah, it's kind of fun, like having this. Change positions and like you get to sit in the chair, so to speak. Um, well, thank you so much. What one for all the years of styling my hair and making me look better and good. Um, but also just thank you for so much for just being a sweet friend as. I discuss and process. I mean, you've really been there almost from the beginning of your Enneagram coach, and we've had wonderful conversations, um, diving deep into the meaning of life and beauty and the things that you've uncovered, which. You know, weren't areas that I was diving into. So just thank you so much for just the delightful conversations that we've had and actually watching you grow into so many new areas, especially creating this new space, the healing society. So tell us a little bit about this new space.

Taylor 5:37

So the whole idea for this space, the whole impetus behind it was I learned about beauty that I really believe it's when someone's soul is made visible. It's not about piling on more hair color and more products and makeup, although that's fun for self expression, but it's when we remove all of these masks that we wear, all of these coping strategies that we have in front of us, all these ways that people expect us to show up and actually Lean back and relax into the authenticity of who we are, that those are the people that have this glow that is just magnetic and you're just drawn to it. And that's what beauty looks like to me. Yeah, absolutely. So, I realized, okay, well if it's not about piling on the beauty products. How are we going to start sloughing off all of these things that are hiding our true self? And I learned about all of these different modalities, the first of which being that started me on this whole healing journey was the Enneagram. And we have these, these archetypes that we think that we're this way, and really that's just a mask that we use to protect ourselves that we developed along the way. At least that's how I understood it at the time. It made perfect sense to me. And so I realized the Enneagram is an amazing tool and I started meeting all of these people in town. I was collecting this whole community of, of people that just had a desire to help people reconnect to their true self. And I was like, everyone is working from home on Zoom or in a home office and we all should really be supporting each other. And so I was like, we need a place to do this. And there, there wasn't really a place organized specifically for the wellness. field. Um, there's spas, there's corporate co working places, but I wanted something that felt nurturing and warm where people could still maintain their independence, run their own practice. But we could all come together and support each other in community. Yeah. And so that was, that's what the

Beth 7:29

whole idea came from. Yeah. And if you're not watching us on YouTube right now, you've got to jump on our YouTube channel and see the space. Cause you can kind of see, you know, behind her, that she has created this very gorgeous co working environment. Cause a lot of co working environments, I mean, they're. They're nice, they're great, but they're very corporate. They can sometimes feel very stale or just one note and that's not you, right?

Taylor 7:56

Which I'm sure we'll dive into when it comes to the Inigo. Yeah, I wanted it to feel like you could just walk in and exhale and relax and curl up in a corner and read a book if you wanted or sit at the common table and have coffee with a friend. I didn't want it to feel, um, sterile. Yeah. I wanted it to feel warm and inspiring. So this is the lounge I'm sitting in now. This is the coworking lounge.

Beth 8:20

Exactly. And, and that's for both. It's not just for the clients that come in that really do need that kind of space to exhale, but it's also for those that are doing the healing practice, right? For them to have to like decompress and to heal and to feel refreshed. So, and I loved that vision. Um, and you would show me along the way what you were conceptualizing. And I, honestly, there was part of me that was like, yeah, that's really cool pictures were like vision, but I'll see what this turns out. And I'm like, oh my gosh, this is even better than the pictures.

Taylor 8:55

Thank you so much.

Beth 8:56

Yeah. And it's just such an amazing space. Um, now where, where is it exactly kind of located in the Nashville area? So

Taylor 9:04

we're in East Nashville, up in the tippy top part, up near Briley, right off of Briley Parkway and I 65, so it's accessible from every single part of town. It doesn't take more than 20 minutes to get here from any part of town, which is amazing. And, um, yeah, so if there are... Enneagram coaches, You can come work with me like I'm right here. Come meet me. That would be amazing. Exactly. I have all these counselors or Um Oh, all different kinds.

Beth 9:31

Yeah. Massage therapist. You've got even massage therapist tables there. I mean it is guys. Okay, so what is the website? Just so that they can hear that first before we jump Oh sure. Into,

Taylor 9:43

it's the Healing Society. Dot net and all of the information is on there. Pictures of the yoga studio, pictures of the kitchen and break room, and all the amenities, all the pricing, all of that, all that fun stuff is on there. And you can even book a tour on there too. And come hang out with me and I'll show you all the pretty stuff. Yay.

Taylor's Enneagram Story

Beth 10:01

Yeah. Um, okay, so let's dive into the Enneagram now. I would love to, I love to people I'd love to people, for people to hear your story because it is not okay. You are unique. And your story is unique and yet it's not you

Taylor 10:18

for saying so that means a lot. Exactly.

Beth 10:21

I'm setting you up. Um, but, but again, it's not unique in the sense that you have been on quite a journey with the Enneagram and you were heading down kind of in one direction and you're still heading in that direction, but it kind of had a little like turn. So tell us what that journey has been like and how it has unfolded and where you are now.

Taylor 10:47

Oh my goodness. Yeah. So I, I first discovered it about five years ago. Well, six years ago now, um, a friend of mine who was a spiritual mentor, uh, was saying, Uh, if you're wanting to dive into people's authentic self, you probably need to learn about the Enneagram. And so that was my introduction. Um, you know, I got a few books on the subject, I listened to a few podcasts on the subject, and really tried to sift out which archetype I related to. Um, and it was, It was tricky at first. I thought I was a three. I loved the idea of fours, but I was like, well, surely I couldn't be that cool. But then when I got to sevens, they talked about FOMO. They talked about, um, being perky all the time. They talked about planning and filling your life with fun things. And I was like, well, I relate to all of those things. Yeah. Um, and so I typed myself as a seven.

Beth 11:47

Yeah.

Taylor 11:48

And I participated in lots of Enneagram conversations. I read more Enneagram books, always honing in on the seven and always doing the work of the seven, which was learning to sit in uncomfortable, painful situations. That was the guidance that I received as I started to sit in the pain, which was not a practice that I had. I definitely avoided it at all costs, but I was like, I'm going to work on this. So I would feel the kind of emotions come up that wanted to be expressed. I would feel my throat tighten. And I would tell my husband, I think I need to go sit in the other room and just, and, and feel this for a second. Like I was like really going to be intentional about not repressing these hard feelings. Yeah. I would go sit in the other room. I would have my journal, I would pull a blanket up and I would just let it overflow and I would just cry and I would say, I'm afraid of this and what if I'm not good enough for this? And, and you know, it only took about two and a half minutes and all of a sudden it was like the storm clouds cleared and I felt so much better. Yeah. And I realized. After a while. Oh, there's deep wells here. I know what grief feels like. I know what loneliness feels like. I know what isolation feels like. And I'm actually not afraid to sit in the murkiness. And I went to a friend's birthday dinner about a year ago, and she introduced all of us. Everyone there was really familiar with the Enneagram. She goes, all three of you are sevens, you're going to have a great time together. Yeah. As I sat there listening to these other people talking, I started to observe. I don't feel like these people, I would rather sit back. I would rather observe. I would rather, I wouldn't rather do this, but I found myself questioning where I fit in. Am I. Superior or inferior to what I feel like these other people are bringing to the table. What's my puzzle piece? How do I fit in? How am I going to prove that I'm unique enough to be at this table? Um, and I went home and I was like, well, I don't feel like a seven. I definitely didn't feel like those people, but I definitely started getting really introspective and insecure about if I was. Going to be loved by these people. Yeah. Oh, that sounds, that sounds kind of like a four.

Beth 14:15

I,

Taylor 14:16

huh. Let me take out some of my books and start rereading the four thing. Yeah. Cause I, I'd always told people I was kind of a weird seven. That I, I was like, well, yeah, I'm a seven, but I don't want to spontaneously come to your party. And I'd rather just, I'm introverted. I'd rather just sit by myself and I'd rather journal and listen to sad music. And so I'm kind of a weird seven. Um, I started realizing maybe it's. Because I'm not a seven, but as a four, I took a lot of pride in saying that I was a weird seven and that I didn't quite fit

Beth 14:55

them all. I love that. Yeah. And those that know the Enneagram are probably like chuckling too, because it's like, it's so cute, right? It's just like, it's our, it's our authentic self. Like what I love. I guess the picture that I hear or see in my mind is these scales falling off one by one by one, and you able to see yourself more clearly in the, so, so to speak mirror, right? Like you are able to go, wait a second, these were all strategies. And a lot of people, they don't know this, so I'm going to bring this up. These are strategies that you learned growing up, right? Like the seven like strategies and some of the other strategies. So your parents, right? Your dad is a seven and your mom is a one, maybe two. And so you really learned a lot of strategies. to be very seven like, and we also know that your tri type is the archetype of a four seven nine, which I remember when we were talking about that one day you love. Cause I was like, well, they're kind of like this fairy, like You know, being, and

Taylor 16:09

may I interject, you said, okay, don't be offended. Yeah. And you

Beth 16:18

were like, I love that. That like, just makes me so happy. And I was

Ep. 194 Taylor Nick 16:21

like,

Taylor 16:21

Oh, they're kind of like fairy children. And I was like, why would that be bad? That sounds amazing.

Beth 16:28

And so, but, and that just kind of helped, you know, capture so much of who you are. So seven is a big part of you. It. There are strategies within you that are seven, like, you know, not only from being a child of a seven, but also seven in your tri type. And so it makes sense why you first thought that you were a seven. And as you did more inner work and really sat in it, but then also, I think it's so amazing to sit with others that are of that type. So the seven, like you did and going, wait a second. This we're, we have totally different language. We have different like kind of strategies or the way we're feeling. And you were able to really understand some of the thoughts that were going on that were very forish, like, you know, am I going to fit, do I belong, you know, am I above or below them? So kind of the envy, like, what do they have that I don't have? I'm longing for this. Um, But, but just being so honest and transparent with yourself, which really kind of goes against probably the, the family dynamics and that seven part of your heart. Plus the nine's like, Hey, I don't want to sit in that pain either. So the seven, the nine are both like, I don't want to go there. That was the strategy that you have. But what you did is you uncovered so much depth that the fourness really. Rose up and you were able to see it and embrace it.

Embracing Her Type

Beth 17:59

What was that experience like when you really embraced the true you? Well,

Taylor 18:07

um, I do this, um, thing where I make, um, these concoctions. They're, they're called, uh, flower remedies. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And there was, there's a doctor a hundred years ago who discovered that there's certain wild flowers that resonate at the same frequencies of certain emotions. And so if you distill them into your water, um, you can actually help balance out emotional and mental imbalances. And it's very, very subtle and it's very, very gentle. And so I started learning about those, um, in this whole healing journey I've been on, uh, about a year ago. And I started. Um, there was one flower in particular that I always put in my blend, um, which is described for people that feel like they always have to have, like, the happy mask on. Like if you see, like, the theater masks of, like, the happy face and the sad face, it's like... I'm happy. And even if there's turmoil happening inside, I'm not going to inconvenience anyone with it because I don't want to bum anyone out. Um, one of the things that I heard my parents say growing up with that, there's two types of people in the world, workers and perkers and who wants to be an erker. You want to be a perker and you want, I mean, so hello, but you want to perk people up all of the time. You never want to irk anyone. Everyone has their own, you know, challenges they're dealing with. So be happy, um, be presentable, look good, and... Then you'll be the kind of person that everyone will love and accept is the underlying message and so after I had been Working with this flower remedy for seven or eight months. I'm just in my water bottle on a regular basis I would kind of forget that it was in there. Yeah, that was when I went to this dinner And it was like I had an M& M shell outside of me that I had been presenting to everyone all the time, like, I'm a seven! I'm happy! I'm free spirited! I'm perky, I'm not irky! I'm not irky! It felt like it cracked

Beth 20:08

off.

Taylor 20:09

Yeah. And it was like, I don't feel like entertaining you. I don't feel like making sure that you're having a good time. I don't feel like monitoring the energy in the room and making sure that everyone's feeling optimistic. I just don't feel like doing that anymore. It's exhausting.

Beth 20:25

Yeah. Yeah.

Taylor 20:26

Yeah. And that's what it felt like. And coming into the four, it was like, Oh. So all of these things that I thought made me really weird and kind of freaky. like really artsy, really moody. Um, that's actually just who I am. And if I lean into that and accept that, it feels like a warm hug. It feels like, oh, this, it's like a, like a, like a glove that's just made to fit you. Where the seven felt Like another mask.

Beth 20:59

Yeah, yeah, exactly. And I just want people that are listening to recognize this is a very natural, normal path for lots of people with the Enneagram because the Enneagram is a very complex system. And if you start to unpack all the layers, this totally makes sense. So again, like I was saying, not only, you know, were your parents, you know, in their own loving way, trying to sear you in a direction they felt like was going to be helpful and good for you. Then also, you know, your tribe type of having seven in there, but not only that, You know, being more of a self press for which is the look alike to seven. So it's like all of these things make sense. Why unpacking the four took some time. And I just feel like a lot of people were in America, right? Or at least. Most of us that are listening to this are in America and it's like, we have to learn it fast, quick, like fix everything fast. Like what's the solution. And our inner work just isn't that God will put us on whatever path we need to strip away of these strategies and these patterns. And it takes time and it can be painful yet hopeful. All wrapped up into one. And so I feel like it's been a really neat and, um, um, sobering and beautiful experience to watch you do your own inner work because. It's just not easy for anyone, and yet it's beautiful and hopeful at the same time. Is that kind of what it's felt like for you?

Taylor 22:46

Yes, there is this paradox of sitting in the uncertainty, sitting in the unknown, befriending the void. It's almost like the idea of a seed being put into the soil. And it thinks that it's dark and scary, and it doesn't know what kind of creepy crawly things are going to come out. But actually it's like a warm womb and that's where it can actually sprout its roots and it can actually get comfortable and it can actually get all of the nutrients and life from the soil like we think that sitting in the dark is doing the shadow work has to be creepy crawly and scary. And that honestly, that's what it felt like. Initially, it felt like if I allow myself to feel these hard feelings, I'm going into a dark room and I'm closing the door and I'm not going to be able to find the handle again. I'm going to be trapped in here. Like the darkness is going to swallow me. Yeah. You know, not to be dramatic.

Beth 23:44

I can feel it myself. Yeah. It's like, even as a nine, it's like, Oh yeah, I don't, I didn't, I don't want to. Go there. And yet, like you said, that's where the nutrients and the growth and the roots get, you know, planted so you can sprout and grow. Man, I love that. That is so beautiful. That is,

Taylor 24:03

and the analogy of the, the room with the door, that's how my husband described it. And he's a five, Enneagram five with a four wing. And so every time I would come to him and express these Overwhelming feelings that I had. These things, these things that I thought were too dark to share with another person because they would get me rejected. He was like, welcome! I've lived here the whole time! And it was so affirming because... As a four, that is the deepest need is that I can show up in the side of me that seems to be imperfect and broken and still be accepted. Like that's the deepest desire of my heart. And so having the support of my husband to sit in the dark place and be like, yeah. This is where the life is. This is what it means to be human. This is reality. Like, welcome to the juicy stuff. Um, was, um, was, I, I probably couldn't have done it, you know, without having such a supportive partner that I knew was kind of like a life raft.

Beth 25:06

Yeah. Okay. So, so you are planted in the dark space. You are getting rooted. You're getting nourishment.

Using the Enneagram for Growth

Beth 25:17

Tell us what the growth has been like, you know, so sprouting and starting to blossom because really that's the healing society. Yeah, exactly. Like what's behind

Taylor 25:26

you. Well, I mean, it's I've always thought of the stereotype of a four as being kind of like Edgar Allan Poe or there's this comedy, um, that came out like, I don't know, 10 or 15 years ago where there's this moody, artsy brother and he's like angry at someone and the way he tells them that he's angry at them, he goes, I made you a painting and like expressing his emotions and I was like that, to me, that's what a four was, was just Like, Tim Burton y, like, always, there's like bats flying in the corners for some reason. Um, but the four, like, it It's identifying the beauty in the dark place. That's part of the gift of the four, that there's beauty in all aspects of being a human. Um, whether it's sparkly sunsets and unicorns, or sitting in the dirt for a while. Um, that there's, there's beauty and magic in all aspects of the human experience. And so, Giving myself permission to lean into some of the more mysterious curiosities that I have to paint all of the walls dark smoky green and put tapestries everywhere and antiques and Just things that I find beautiful It has been so freeing and honestly It was that turning point that I started creating this space, um, because I had the vision for it so clearly and, and what I've come to learn about fours is from you, is that the ideal vision that fours have inside of them in their imagination for what the world could be like if when everything is harmonious when everything is beautiful and when everything is healed. I mean, I saw it crystal clearly. It was like a blueprint that I followed. And as I was creating this space, any decision I made, I just held up to that inner vision. That I believe God gave me and used it. Well, that doesn't look like the blueprint moving on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the thing. And when you identify the thing in physical reality that had only previously existed in your imagination, it just sings like your whole body resonates with, Oh, this is the thing. This is the feeling. And that's what I've learned about force, especially self preservation force. Is they can look a little bit like sevens in terms of their interior design aesthetic as well, because it's self preservation types like to nest and like to create their safe space. Um, and so fours like to collect and curate things that evoke a certain feeling inside of them of how they want to feel in their own personal sanctuary, which from the outside can look a lot like hoarding. Which could be a seven thing of just, I want to me! With my house, my workspace, I mean, there's like trinkets and art and pictures and instruments and lamps and rugs and every, throw pillows. There's just, it's a very maximalist aesthetic. And so that was also something that I was like, oh, that could look like a seven. But where sevens are doing it because they don't want to miss out on anything, perhaps. For fours, it's because they're trying to create a feeling and certain objects and textures and aromas. Like all of the physical senses can help create and tap into certain

Beth 28:50

feelings. Yeah. Which I mean, I feel like you've done a masterful job because when I go to the healing society to get my hair done, like I will tomorrow, it is, it's a warm hug. It feels like, I mean, like just even when you enter the space, it feels like, I'm just kind of like literally envisioning myself walking through the front door. It feels cause like you're walking in, like it's, it's a building. So there's other, you know, offices and stuff in there. And so, you know, the walls are white out in the four year like the main four year area. But when I walk into your space, like you said, the smoky green walls feel like a warm embrace. It feels as if you are. welcomed to take a big, deep breath and exhale. And the exhale is really like. It really is going to mimic whatever healing that needs to happen in that space. So like, you know, for me, it's getting my hair cut and. And, you know, people out there that are like, like make, let's say, I don't know who you get your hair done by, but like when you're washing my hair and massaging it, I really feel like, okay, this is a safe place to just allow myself to be cared for. And that's what I know that you are creating there and not, I mean, of course, all types can do amazing things, but what I want to point out is how as a four. You have created a place for people to just be, just to be them and to sit in whatever the emotion is, whatever the highs or the lows are, that there is a welcome place for all of it. And. I feel like that's what everyone needs and is secretly looking for is a place just to come and be. So, does that, does that kind of capture kind of what you're

Taylor 30:52

hoping? It makes me want to tear up. That's the whole idea. Because in my head, I'm creating this emotion because it's how I want to feel. Yeah. And then I realize it's how... It's like my gift. It's my gift that I want to give the world is

Beth 31:10

just

Taylor 31:10

bringing in more beauty. Like we're always rushing. We're always hustling. We're always puffing ourselves up. We're always having to strive. We're having to prove. And I wanted it to feel peaceful and harmonious and yeah, like a safe space where people could just. Let their guard down and show up and not have to try not have to try like they have to do everywhere else in the world. It's really my attempt of seeing this idealistic utopia internally as a four and being like, well, I'm going to create a little slice of the world that I want to embody and the future that I believe we can all. Move closer to and so I'm going to actually bring that into the

Beth 31:54

world right now

Easy to Mistype

Beth 31:58

Okay, I had a thought in my mind right now because You know a lot of people out there could I'm not saying they are but they could think okay Beth you said in her chair And she said she was a seven, like, how did you not know or step in or say something? Well, I'm very convincing. I mean, yes, in a lot of ways. Now there were a lot of times I was like, wow, there's a lot of four there, but then we knew that your tri type was with the four, seven and nine. And just like you said, you want to create a harmonious. So this is a, um, a safe place that anyone could come that literally is a nine, like right there, but that, that phrase right there was very nine ish. So again, I want people to recognize there's a lot of different parts. We use all nine types to varying degrees. You just happen to have a lot of four, a lot of nine, a lot of seven, but. So there were a lot of times that I saw the four pop up, and as a coach, I believe it is not my job. Now, there are occasions I will, like, if I really feel someone is way off base, I will. Bring up a percolating question to see if they are open to exploring something different, but it is their journey to discover for themselves what's going on and why. So I would love to hear from your perspective. And for those that are out there that let's say they mistyped themselves for a long time, or maybe they are in that mistyping and they won't find it for another year that they're listening to this because Jeff has typed himself for five years. Um, he really, Oh yeah. He thought he was an eight for five years. Cause I think he really wanted to be an eight. And then a counselor that he was working with, um, a brand new counselor was very well versed in the Enneagram. He was when he finally met Jeff and after, you know, a couple of visits, he was like, you know, I'm not sure. If you're an aid, you know, and so then they ventured into that. So Jeff could discover it for himself. Um, but that's the thing is strategy because

Taylor 34:13

he's a counterphobic, counterphobic, right? Yeah. But what you said was he had to discover it for himself. Exactly. So I would love to hear. I love studying because I love reading because I love people systems, personality typing, spiritual archetypes. I think I would have been too proud to second guess what I had declared if it came from someone else. I would have been like, well, they clearly don't know me very well, or I don't know. Um, I had to feel it because the Enneagram, these archetypes, it's just our language to describe something that we all sense on an energetic level. Like, so, and that's why when I was sitting next to the sevens, I was like, This doesn't feel like me reading the description of it sounded like me, but I had to feel it inside my body. I just feel the misalignment of it. And so until I felt that my brain was going to be convinced.

Beth 35:18

Right. And it had read all the things when you felt it. Correct me if I'm wrong. It seemed like you were clearly able to see the strategies. Of the seven that you had put before you to convince yourself that's, that's you and that, but by seeing and being with other sevens, you were able to see the, the disconnect that way that we don't have the same strategies. I might appear to be a seven on the outside because I can be very cheerful and fun and a lot of the external. Being in the fear of the emotions. Cause you, I mean, a lot of times, you know, we'll talk about how fours aren't afraid of the motions, but you were literally raised. Don't sit in the Irky. Don't be the Irky person. And, and so there was a lot of fear to be the very thing that people don't want. Right. And here you're like coming to this awareness, like literally in your face, these two other sevens. That there's a disconnect. And I feel like that way, those aha moments wake us up on a whole different level than if someone were to say you're this, or this is your type. The discovery process is so vital. And that can be really hard for Enneagram coaches because In some ways we, we want them to experience like what you're experiencing right now. I want you to experience way ahead of time, but here's a beautiful analogy of this process that can be really hard for anyone that's helping someone to grow and heal. There's, there was this guy who was watching this butterfly. Get out of its cocoon and it was taking forever. It looked like this butterfly was struggling and having the hardest time. And so he thought, you know what, I'm just going to get some scissors and kind of like cut the cocoon a little bit to help this little butterfly get out faster. Well, the process. of getting out of the cocoon, the struggle actually strengthened its wings. It actually enabled it to be the butterfly it needed to be. And so what happened was by doing that, it actually hindered the butterfly and it could never be what it needed to be. And So I feel like, you know, as those that are sitting out there listening that are either coaches or pastors or mentors, even parents sometimes allow sitting in the uncomfortable space of watching someone grow, but being there and being an encouragement, a safe place that is so vital, um, because we all need that, that assurance, that connection that you belong, even as you are, um, is so important. So does that feel right? That had I or someone else stepped in and said, you're not a seven, you're a four. Would it have deterred some of the growth that you think you, you did gain?

Taylor 38:21

I think that is accurate. What I'm

Beth 38:24

really

Taylor 38:25

honing in on in that illustration is the strength that is gained by fighting your way. Yeah. Um, and that's what has to happen. It's what has to happen. Um, for you to be able to stand on your own two feet and own your type when you get there, because otherwise you're just regurgitating someone else's story, which is what most of us are doing our whole lives. The whole gift of the Enneagram is that you can. And you can see your blind spots and, um, I don't know about you, but when someone else calls out my blind spots, I usually respond defensively and I don't take it very well. So it's one of those things where it's like, I want to discover my, yes, that's what we have coaches for. And I appreciate the coaches in my life and the mentors in my life that very compassionately point me that direction. Um, but it's something that you have to see for yourself if you're ever going to. heal from it and do anything about it and grow.

Beth 39:32

Yeah. But they let you do the work, the process. And they,

Taylor 39:38

they just hold space for it. Right. They say, I'm going to sit here and you know that you're safe and that you're not going to dissolve into a pile of mush because I'm here and I'm cheering you on. Right. But you're the one doing the. The mushy caterpillar growing wings and climbing out of the cocoon.

Beth 39:56

And most of us think that we want someone to come in and like, help like this. Do it for me. Yeah. This is hard. I don't want to do this, you know, or this is scary, you know? And, and I think hopefully that those are listening, you know, if you're in that space of struggle or learning and growing, and it feels hard, like. Yeah, it is hard, but definitely find people around you that can assure you that can hold the space for you, that can cheer you on, that can give you the, the safety net to, to grow in this, this hard world. And ultimately God is the one that's going to give us the strength and the path to walk down and to really have the perseverance to build a character that we're, that he is. Um, laying out before us and then when we do that path, and that's what's so incredible about watching your trajectory, because I've been with you now, and this is the third. Space that you've done my hair in. And the other two spaces were just, you know, like a hair studio and that you rented a space from, and it was all fine, but it wasn't you. And now I get to experience the fullness of who you are and not just the fullness of who you are, but the rebel effect that you knowing you has now on other people's lives that you have created this welcoming, nurturing environment for people to come and heal themselves. And so I feel like. You know, it's important that people recognize that the journey of growth is so hard, but it is so good. And so if we can learn to gain a greater capacity to sit in the uncomfortable spaces that typically our strategies try to get us out of that, we'll actually find more of our true self and we'll grow in ways that we never thought possible. And it's truly, truly beautiful. And that's Just really what I'm seeing from you. Um, yeah. Yeah. Well, no, thank you. And I, cause I know we're going to unpack more and people are probably sitting there going, no, we want to listen. Well, sorry.

Taylor 42:08

All of our haircuts. Yeah, exactly. We always have the most fun conversation. But speaking of haircuts. It is. I had this idea years ago when I was listening to a teacher, um, do a talk about on baptism and he said, baptism is just. Having a dirty slate and washing it clean. And who doesn't want that? Who doesn't want to be able to come in and say, all of this stuff that I'm ashamed of, all of this stuff that I've previously done before, yes, that was me then, but it's not me now. And I'm going to go forward in a fresh way. And I was like, that's what a haircut is. That's what I'm doing. All of this stuff that grew out, your hair grows six inches in a year. So whatever's down here, this is three years ago, Taylor. It's still, I'm just carrying around literally the weight on my shoulders and just, I mean, I think that's why you see so many people do a big haircut after they get married, after they have kids, after they go through a major life transition, a move is because something doesn't feel I'm carrying around parts of me that are old and I want a clean slate. Yeah. And you do

Beth 43:21

feel different after a haircut, right? Like there is. a sense of renewal or newness or freshness. Yeah, that's so true. And I get that tomorrow.

Taylor 43:36

And when, when it comes to the Enneagram, that's what the Enneagram did for me too. It was like, Yes, you can be envious. Yes, you can be awkward around other people because you're always worrying about if they like you. Yes, you're afraid that you're not at the stage that you want to be in life, but that doesn't diminish who you are right now. So you can let all of that go. And every day when you come back to your authentic self and the gifts type, which mine before is bringing beauty and seeing the authenticity and others helping bring out the harmony that I want to have in the world, um, that I can. It gives a path to what that clean slate can look like for the inner work. Yeah.

Beth 44:23

That's what the Enneagram does. Well, Taylor, thank you so much. I mean, this is so fun to get to do this in a totally new and different way than we're, we're used to more than that. I just want to say thank you for doing the hard work and sitting in the hard spaces because the growth that you've had over the years that I've gotten to know you has really been. Inspiring and welcoming. And now just your new space, the healing society, I can see the culmination of all of that work and how it then has a ripple effect into the lives of others. Um, so with that, can you tell people where they can again, find you find the healing society and get, you know, plugged in and. and enjoying this new space, whether they are a person who is of the healing practice of some modality, or they're like, I want to know who's, you know, actually in the healing society and get some help. Yeah,

Taylor 45:22

absolutely. So we are in Nashville, Tennessee. We're located on the East side. Um, we have 10 private offices in here that I've completely furnished in the same style you see behind me that are set up for different types of work. So there's coaching therapy style rooms. There's rooms with body work tables and consultation chairs. There's a yoga room. There's this lounge that seats 22 people. So if people want to do workshops or events. Or focus groups, they can use this space, or if they just want to co work and they want to get, you know, be in an inspiring environment with like minded people out of their house, if they're used to working from home, then they can just come participate in the community as well, even if they don't necessarily want to offer their services here. Um, in terms of services that are here, yeah, massage therapists, acupuncturists, um, counselors, um, herbalists. What I say is if your work helps others find well being physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually, then you're welcome here. You belong here. This is exactly, um, the, the community that I want to build so we can all support each other. Cause the rising tide raises all ships.

Beth 46:34

Yeah. And it's the healing society. net.

Taylor 46:38

Yep. The healing society. net and on Instagram at the healing society, underscore, underscore two underscores at the

Beth 46:46

end. Okay, great. Well, thank you so much for being here. And I just hope that people feel very encouraged that the journey they are on is the journey they need to be on and that it is beautiful and it is growth each and every day that they take the next step. So thank you for sharing us, with us, your journey.

Taylor 47:06

Thank you, Beth! I can't wait to see you tomorrow! Yeah! This is my favorite. I could just continue this conversation, and I'm sure we will. Yeah, oh,

Beth 47:14

yeah. We'll just keep unpacking it, so.

Taylor 47:16

We'll just keep unpacking it more. Yeah. Okay, thanks so much! Thank you! See you later! Bye! See you tomorrow!

Beth 47:22

for those of you guys that are listening, I trust that this experience has had a profound impact on you. Like it has me just watching her grow and learn and transform. Well, if that's you and you were like, Hey, I would love. To be with other people as they grow and transform, to give them the clarity and the insights from the Enneagram. Well, then becoming an Enneagram coach might be the next best step for you. And if that's you get our free mini course to see what it's all about. And that's at your Enneagram coach. com forward slash mini course. But for those of you that are like, Hey, I would love for someone to guide me in my own personal journey of uncovering my type or what's going on, what are my strategies, then get your. Certified coach at my Enneagram coach. com. And thank you guys so much for joining me today and come with me on this journey with the next person next week, as we unpack their story and maybe do a little bit of coaching for me with this coaching time, I really wanted to explore her own journey. Um, thinking she was one type and then. Diverting into a whole new direction and unpacking that without shame or guilt or, um, thinking that there's something wrong with her, but that this is a new understanding, a deeper understanding of herself. And so I wanted to highlight certain things that helped her to see why she mistyped again, her dad being a seven, seven and her tri type, but it also being a strategy, the. Aha moment that her family, their strategy was, you know, you need to look perky and not irky. People don't need more sadness or negativity in their life. They want positivity. Well, that's definitely a sevens natural way of being right. And she didn't want to be that. So she learned strategies to be a seven. And thinking that that's who she is, but as she was able to sit with other seven, she was able to see a stark difference between her motivations and theirs, her way of thinking, and theirs. And so I wanted to guide her in that path of. Uh, to, to really see that that was a good journey for her to be on and that her journey was not a bad journey, that God had her unfolding her story in a very unique and subtle way. And so I hope for you guys that you will take the time, the patience and give yourselves the grace. Um, And the space to unfold your own story and that however your, your story unfolds is good and right. And sometimes you're going to need a counselor or a coach or a mentor, someone that can walk with you, hold the space and to encourage you to reassure you that your path of growth is important. And as always remember that the Enneagram reveals your need for Jesus. Not your need to work harder because it is the gospel that transforms us. Thanks again for joining me on today's episode. Share this with those that you know would enjoy this kind of transformative work and I'll see you next time.