Beth: 0:00

Hey, everyone. Welcome to the new podcast series here at your Enneagram coach, the podcast. And I am so thrilled to share with you a new opportunity that we have for moms. Yes. Moms listen up. Have you ever. Do you have a longing for deeper connections with moms who truly understand your mom journey? Or do you crave a supportive community where you can be really authentic and true to yourself without the fear of judgment? Well, if that's you, then I have the perfect solution that you've been looking for. And that's Enneagram for moms cohorts. Yes, you heard it. Enneagram for moms cohorts. So just imagine. Joining a group of other moms who share your same Enneagram type. They're all coming together for eight weeks and we're going to have meaningful conversations. You're going to experience support and growth all together. So we've designed these core cohorts to create. Lasting friendships with other moms who can truly understand you, your struggles, your desires, your aspirations as a mom. Now we're going to have a certified Enneagram parenting coach lead these cohorts. And I'm going to lead the ones during the daytime, which I'm so excited to do. And we'll have some in the evening as well. This is going to provide a safe and nurturing place for you to explore. Your personality, the challenges you have, the strengths you offer your family. Um, and so there's so much in this opportunity. So what we're going to do in these cohorts is we're going to use our curated guide sheets that are just for your type about being a mom. So we have made these to bring awareness to your own journey and path of growth so that you can gain real understanding of what it's like to be your Enneagram type as a parent. But not only that, it's to help all of us. Also foster really good conversations with the other moms in your cohort. So that way your guys aren't just like, what are we going to talk about? Right? So we will bring up the topics at hand. You'll get to learn and explore more about your Enneagram type, why you do what you do, but then use that as a springboard to conversation. But not only that. Each cohort is going to have their own private Facebook group community. Yes. This is where you're going to continue building those relationships and having further discussions throughout the week. So you're not going to want to miss out on joining one of the cohorts that fits you best because you're going to have deep friendships with other moms. Who get you not only that they're going to support you and understand you. Okay. So the cohorts registration opens May 6th to May 13th. Perfect timing as a mother's day gift, whether for yourself, your spouse, your friend, your own mom, maybe, um, um, Your daughter, anyone that you know is an Enneagram enthusiast and would love to participate in something like this, but also there are only 25 spots for each cohort. And there's one for each type in the daytime and in the evening. So you're not going to want to miss out. Definitely get in and register right now at your Enneagram coach. com forward slash cohorts. Now these cohorts start on June. 10th. So when you register, you're also going to get some extra fun, little goodies like the parenting, uh, Enneagram strengths and weaknesses cheat sheet. Also the parenting guide and understanding the nine types of children. I'm also going to give you what's a journaling guide on aware. It's an acronym that we're going to use throughout our eight weeks, but also a parent's guide to apologizing. Yes. How do I apologize in a way that is most effective? Well, you're going to get it. So again, it's mother's day coming up. So don't miss out on getting this for yourself and someone else. We are so excited for you to join one of these communities so that you can. Really feel understood, known, and validated. So join your cohort today at your Enneagram coach. com forward slash cohorts. Okay. So you're probably wondering, well, what is this going to be like before I sign up? I mean, like, what's the experience like? Well, I've got good news because today and the following eight episodes, I'm going to show you what these cohorts are like with a mini cohort. So today and the other, uh, eight episodes, they're going to be three moms of each type, um, for whatever episode it's for to show you what a cohort is like. So today I have. Three type nine moms. Well, actually four, cause I'm a type nine too. And we're going to talk about the strengths and the struggles that type nine moms encounter. You're going to experience this really rich, supportive conversation between these moms. And so you're going to really hear what the cohorts are like and how each of the cohorts are going to help bless each mom. With validation, understanding, a nonjudgmental space, no shame, and a place to just really be your authentic self. So again, don't miss out, grab your spot in the cohort that fits you best at your Enneagram coach. com forward slash cohorts. Now, let me introduce you to the three type nine moms who will dive into this mini cohort experience. And I can't wait for you to meet them and experience what it's like for other moms that are very similar, but also have their own experiences to come together and to talk. So let me bring them on right now. Okay. all right. Hey friends. I am so excited to have the three of you here so we can talk about what it's like Being a type nine mom and I'm one too. So this is going to be super fun for me. Um, I get to jump into saying, yes, that's me. And like, I totally get you. Um, but before we dive in, I just want you to introduce yourself so that we get to know each other a little bit better. And then if you can say like, you know, who you're married to, where you're from, and then your kiddos, like their ages, you know, speaking. What stage of life are you in? All that kind of good stuff. Um, so let's start there. So who would like to go first?

Kristen: 6:54

I will go first.

Amanda: 6:55

Oh, see, that's why you don't volunteer, because then you talk over

Kristen: 6:59

somebody needs to do it. I'm Kristen Wanch and I'm married to Carl. We've been married for 21 years and we live in Surprise, Arizona, which is in the Phoenix metro area. And we have three kids. Our oldest son is 11. Second son is eight. And we have a daughter who is four.

Beth: 7:19

Wow. That's awesome. All right. Well, I'll pick so that you guys don't, you know, cause I told them, I was like, okay, so let's be assertive. And you guys were being awesomely assertive. So Mandy, why don't you go?

Mandi: 7:32

I'm Mandy Mitchell. I'm married to Andy and we live in Normal, Illinois, and I have three kids. Simon is 16, Sylvia is almost 13, and Miriam is 10. And was there anything else, Beth, that you wanted?

Beth: 7:50

Well, we've known each other for like 15 years or whatever. It's been Maybe even longer than that. So this is really fun to have you on because we've just kind of walked this journey of being type nine moms for many years. And so I'm just excited to carry, continue to carry on that conversation with you here today. Um, okay, Amanda, what about you?

Amanda: 8:11

Hey, I'm Amanda white from Athens, Georgia. I'm married to Alex. We've been married 18 years this summer. We have a 14 year old son, a 12 year old daughter and a 10 year old son. That's what

Beth: 8:24

That's awesome. And you're one of our certified Enneagram coaches, correct?

Amanda: 8:28

I am.

Beth: 8:29

Yay. I love that. So this is just gonna be a really fun, um, conversation about just being us type nines. So what I want to do first is to give us kind of an overview of what it's like to be a type nine mom. One, not that deep. You don't know because you do, um, as in your experience, but also for those that are listening to get a real sense of what it's like to be a type nine mom, our strings and our struggles. And then once I'm done, I'm just kind of reading through this. I'd love to just open it up for conversation between us. Um, I'll leave us with some questions to make sure, you know, we, we touch on certain points, but I just would, I can't wait actually to just have this conversation together. So let me, um, give this overview of the type nine moms. So understanding your experience as a type nine mom begins with recognizing how your core motivations influence your parenting journey. So your con, your fear of conflict, right? We all like fear, conflict and tension, um, is really paramount to how we parent. And we just desire this inner peace and stability for ourselves and those that were around. But sometimes it leads us to prioritize managing and maintaining that harmony at the expense of expressing our own needs and desires. God So essentially we, you know, acknowledge, um, that everyone else has needs and they have agendas and we just want to go along to get along, accommodate. Hopefully if we do that, then everyone's going to be happy and fine. And it's just going to be amazing. Right. Um, but we struggle with. Losing a sense of ourselves. So the sloth that the nine has, it's not a physical laziness because you know, and I know that we are super busy people. It is a not knowing ourselves so that we can maintain this piece by over accommodating. And when we do that, the thing that kind of comes up time and time again for us is this sense of, does my presence matter? Do people see me? Am I known? Like, do I have any importance here? Or is it just about me accommodating to other people's needs now? So those are some of the core motivations that are underlying just our common type nine, uh, mom parenting. Now our primary parenting perspective is that. We're warm, we're kind, we're focusing on nurturing relationships and of course, fostering that peace and harmony. So when we're with our family unit, what we're going to see the most is this sense of. Feeling, we have a sense, a sixth sense of feeling intuition of how things are going. Are people okay? Are they happy? Are they sad? Are they frustrated? Are they whining? And how do I accommodate to them to maintain this peace and harmony? The problem is our fixation on that leads us to suppress our feelings, our opinions, our needs, um, our thoughts, and then even expressing them in the truest form. And in fact, a lot of times we don't even know what they are. We've, I know for me, when I started learning the Enneagram, when, when someone would ask me like, well, so what do you want? I mean, I was like a deer in headlights. I don't think I've ever really thought about this. You know, I'm so fixated on other people. Now, when we're parenting an autopilot, now this is really interesting. When we're on autopilot, we're unconsciously in, in a good way. And sometimes not a good way, guiding our children to become mini versions of ourselves. So what we're doing as type nine moms is we're emphasizing traits like calmness, gentleness, and empathy. Um, now again, These are amazing qualities that all people should instill. But what happens in autopilot mode is we are. Basically trying to create a mini version of a type nine and sometimes not even recognizing that our children might be a completely different Enneagram type, um, with different qualities and assets and becoming little. peaceful accommodators might not be where they're headed. So especially like a type eight child, you know, they might be in a different trajectory. Now learning those qualities, will that benefit them? Absolutely. But oftentimes we're really just trying to force them into being little versions of ourselves. At least I know I have. Now, our communication style as we're parenting can kind of meander. Sometimes we're having a hard time figuring out what we want to say or how we want to land the plane because we're really just not wanting any tension. So okay, how can I word this? How can I say this in a way that will, you know, make everyone happy and okay, at least enough to get. them from here to there. But we also often say yes, when we really would like to say no, or we'll say maybe, and really that is a no. Um, so it's hard for us to have honest communication and conversation because we Intuitively, no, it's going to, um, upset someone or make someone upset or upset. Um, and so we tend to not be as authentic in our conversation as we should be, or as assertive as we should be. We're not realizing it in the moment. It's not like we're trying to not be authentic. We're just really striving for that peace and harmony. As we embark in growth as a type nine mom, we will see that there is great value in having healthy conflict and asserting ourselves. So this can be hard because we don't want the conflict, but when we're open and honest and have these deep connections and conversations with our, with our family, we're going to see so much deeper connection with them. So what we have to do is prioritize. Ourselves. And that can feel really hard, even just hearing that and saying that out loud as a nine, I'm like, eh, I don't like that, but it's not that we're self focused it's that we do matter. And when we can cultivate a stronger sense of ourself, that our voice matters, our presence matter, we will actually show up in that same manner, being able to embrace conflicts and tensions, but guiding our kids on a path that is. Truly remarkable no matter where they're going in life's storms, right? Like that were there, we're present, we're able to endure the ups and the downs with them. Okay. So that's just an overview of a type nine, um, parent in general, there's so much more we could touch on, but I just want to open it up real quick for just a general idea of what has it been like for you guys when you hear all of that as a type nine mom, just like what comes to the forefront of your mind. Like maybe some highlights, but also like, what are the things that maybe others don't realize how hard it is to be a type nine mom. So who would like to start?

Mandi: 15:52

I can start.

Beth: 15:53

Great.

Mandi: 15:54

Um, so my kids are all very different. And I think I would say being a type nine mom, I have the advantage of appreciating them, like their differences and seeing the beauty in each of them. But also, um, like Beth was saying, I do try to make them into peaceful accommodators. I try and I, and it doesn't work. I get it. Um, so, but I, and the one, the one child that's very different from me is the one Um, is the hardest for me because she is quick to speak and says what she thinks and I, and then, so that is hard for me because like, you not see that maybe you shouldn't have said that or that was hurtful. Um. And then my son, he's, he maybe struggles with reading the room or knowing like what's going on. And I, that's, I'm, I'm like, how can you not see that what's happening in this situation? Um, and then my other child, she's more like me. And so I parent her more to try to get her to speak, like, say what you feel. What do you feel? You should know, you know, I want you to have a voice. So I, I. I parent her more to bring out her voice because I don't want her to be like I was when I was younger and not knowing how I felt. Um, so I do parent them wanting them to be more like me. Um, but, and I think that Beth has helped me to see that like, I am who I am. I am a type, I'm a nine, I'm a type nine mom and that's a gift to my children. Um, And it also has flaws. It has things that are not great that need to be redeemed and that God is redeeming. Um, Okay.

Beth: 18:22

But like you said, it's true that, Like, why aren't you like me? Like, why can't you be accommodating too? Or why can't you, like you said, read the room and adjust, you know, to make everyone feel safe and heard and, and cared for. Um, but not everybody has those skill sets or like a daughter who speaks so assertively. And, um, that can be really hard. Cause it's like, Hey, wait, that, that was a little too much for this group or this room or this situation. Um, and so those can be really big challenges for the type nine who, who sees, you know, the world through our own lens. And then we want to, uh, shape them. Now, again, like you said, the redeeming part of it is helping them to, uh, experience, uh, Like, Hey, you know, son, here's how to read the room, like helping him to move in that direction, but then there's that point of, you know, us forcing them to be just like us. So I love how you were talking about the redeeming aspects, um, as us being a type nine mom and seeing those strengths. Um, Kristen and Amanda, what about you guys? What are some highs and lows, uh, in being a type nine mom?

Kristen: 19:41

One of the highs that I thought of was, I think that it's one of my strengths to connect with my kids and to really prioritize the connection. And I think I've learned that, you know, and that's a really important thing as a parent anyway. And so sometimes I'll, you know, going into the struggles also, I'll get down on myself a little bit for like, Oh, maybe I shouldn't be like, just, Like doing, playing with you whenever you want. And I don't do it whenever they want, but it feels like that sometimes. And, you know, will you sit on the couch with me? Yes, of course I will. Cause I have time and then, you know, time goes by and I'm like, Oh, maybe I need to get up and do something. So it is a little bit of both, but I think connecting is a good strength that I have as a parent and, um, each of them is important and I like to connect with. them in different ways, and I'll just, I think I prioritize that.

Beth: 20:31

Yeah, that's beautiful. Um, yeah, it's, and I'm assuming, and so I'd love to hear a little bit more about connecting individually. My assumption, and this would probably be true for all of you moms is you're literally studying your kids from infancy on up, just like we kind of do with all people, if we're honest. And. What are their likes? What are their preferences? How can I move towards them with who they are? So like, you know, if it's a, a son that loves to go fishing, we would probably, maybe we won't go like actual fish if you're not into that though, I would. Um, but maybe we, you know, help them to get the gear or this, or if they're book readers, you know, listening to them read or what, what are they enjoying? So Kristen, is that kind of like what you're talking about is, you know, Moving towards them and their own unique aspects to connect with them deeper.

Kristen: 21:29

Yeah, that's definitely a way that I do it. I'll pay attention to what they like, and they'll ask. One of them won't ask, but I know, you know, I'll watch them, and okay, maybe you would like this, or maybe I can ask if you want to do this, and it's always a yes with that one, and the other one, you know, will ask Will you go play basketball with me? Yesterday he did this while I'm trying to cook dinner. Um, okay for five minutes. We'll go play basketball for five minutes and then I'll go back to dinner. And you know, the little one is really fun but she really loves to connect too. And um, she's the one that's still in the snuggling and you watch a movie with me and like, Yes, or how about something shorter and then we'll get back to it. So it's a little bit of both, but I think I do try to pay attention to what, what they want and what they're interested in. And that is why it's the connection and it's meeting them where they're at and not just trying to drag along with what I want to do.

Beth: 22:24

And so what I'm hearing from you is that you're desiring to communicate to each of the kids. I see you and you matter. And I'm going to show you that you matter by moving towards you. When you ask for my connection, it would that be kind of a way of saying it. Yeah.

Kristen: 22:40

Great way to say it.

Beth: 22:41

Okay. Now, but as a type nine mom myself, I totally know what you're talking about. And I can hear that hesitancy in your voice. Like they've asked me to connect with them, which is like exactly what I want, but I'm cooking dinner. And how do I do that? Do both. And so it sounds like, um, in that moment, there's tension within you and where, how does that usually go? Cause it sounds like, Oh, I'm gonna go and accommodate whether for good reasons, not good reasons, accommodate and actually connect with them and then come back to said thing, you know, Chore, uh, cooking the dinner or whatever, but there probably are times that you really have to say no. And has that been hard and how do you navigate that?

Kristen: 23:35

Yes, of course. I do have to say no sometimes. And, um, of course with me, I'm like, it's not right now, you know, or, you know, how about we do this at this time? And, uh, you know, but it just, it just depends on what it is. I'm sure there's things where I've had to say no. Well, there is actually my four year old wants another pet and we're not getting another pet. So I'm sure you guys can remember those days, or maybe they still happen as the kids get older, but she really wants one. And she has all these ideas and she's going to take care of it. And she's trying to convince me and. You know, no, I, I know that you really want one, but no, we're not doing that. And that's an easy one because, you know, I have my parental perspective and just our limits and things and we've got a dog. We're happy with the dog.

Beth: 24:22

Yes. It is so easy for us nines to say, or to put our foot down or say no, or be more assertive on things. We. We. We. Absolutely don't want, we, minds know what they don't want versus really what we want. So like, if you know, I don't want another pet because I know how much work that is, it's much easier for us to say, no, we're not going to do that, you know, and to kind of just let that be what it is. It's not. In the gray that we get more accommodating because it's like, well, okay, I can kind of see, and it's hard for us to say no, because, well, what if that upsets them, creates tension, conflict, all the things that happen with that. Um, Amanda, tell us about you and your ups and downs and being a type nine mom. Yeah.

Amanda: 25:39

And I'm like, not me and the kids are like, um, you know? Um, and so after learning about the Enneagram, it's like, Oh, he's different in that he doesn't feel good. And he's, um, Unless he's moving and busy and always has the next thing planned and, and, um, looking forward and he's just different than us. My oldest, um, is a nine. We're very similar and, um, very easy to parent, but I have learned that I very much, I feel like I've very much, um, dampened his emotions growing up, you know, because I wasn't comfortable with sadness. So I would talk him out of being sad, or he got bullied on the bus, and I'd say like, Oh, that kid must have problems at home, he didn't mean it, you know. And I'd call the teacher immediately and say, It's better not have it again. Um, and just try to, you know, prevent any sad feelings. Was what I was doing for a really long time and now I feel that I've

Mandi: 26:41

the recording, and

Amanda: 26:44

a problem with him expressing his emotions and having, he says he doesn't have emotions and I'm like, you had them, we've got to find them so I can break out the feelings wheel at dinner and tell me about a time you were, you know, this week when he felt embarrassed, you know, and I'm, I'm trying to like make conversation around feelings happen a lot more because I just was, um, yeah, I'm just uncomfortable with, the sads and the angries feelings. And so, um, and I've gotten, I've learned and I've gotten better about that. And, um, and that's good, but by the time you're 14, you've kind of gotten into the habit of like shutting down, um, or fixing those feelings. And so I, I don't like that, that that happened. Um, my youngest, who's 10, he does not have a problem with feelings of sad and angry. Um, and that's hard for me to cope with. him and letting him feel those. He loves to do things like Rubik's Cubes and will cry for hours trying to solve it, will not give up, but will cry and I can't help him because I don't know how to do a Rubik's Cube and it's, I have to leave the house. I cannot be in the room. My husband's like, oh, I think it's funny. Look at him. He's great. No, I'm like, I'm really glad he's persevering, but I can't be in the room while he's so upset about it. And so that's a hard, that is a harder dynamic for me with him. And, um, He's, um, very much, uh, into sports and has to be the best at everything. And if he's not, it is a really big, emotional deal that I was not picked to be on the starting lineup and they don't understand it, it's not. And I'm like, well, maybe.

Beth: 28:18

going to

Amanda: 28:19

not, and I want to say very kindly, like, maybe you're not starting lineup material yet. You're the younger thing and he will not hear it. He does not believe it, you know, and it takes a long time for him to calm down. And then, then he'll finally be like, okay, reality sets in, but for hours, you know, it's me trying to like, okay, it doesn't matter for the number one, the team, we love you for trying so hard, you know, and kind of giving this positive reinforcement for his.

Mandi: 28:46

and

Amanda: 28:48

and just really trying. But yeah, so I think I struggled definitely with the emotions in the house. And, um, my daughter, who's my middle child is the sweetest, generous, kindest girl, and is always, um, doing favors and all that. And so then I feel like double time having to be kind and go above and beyond loving her back because she's. Tried to love me so hard, and she loves to bake. She makes the biggest mess baking, and she does not know how to clean up after herself well, every single

Beth: 29:24

know that.

Amanda: 29:25

And so I'm trying to make dinner. I'm gonna make cookies, and I'm kind of like, but I'm making dinner. This is gonna get in my way. This is gonna make a mess. I don't want to say no, because she's just so sweet, and so I'm like, can you wait till after I'm done? Can you be sure to clean up? And

Beth: 29:41

Yes.

Amanda: 29:42

I'm like, Yeah, there's

Beth: 29:43

Oh,

Amanda: 29:43

this mission full of trying to love them a lot, but also what's healthy for their emotions and all that as

Beth: 29:53

yes. Oh, like so much of what you guys said. I'm like, yes, I know. Like, so, um, You know, our kids were one in three when I started learning about the Enneagram. And what I noticed a lot for myself, um, and a lot of you guys have been saying this is the disruption of peace is felt physically. So when babies would cry or toddlers would whine or adolescents would, you know, demand all of those things were really hard and taxing on me as a mom and That's where a lot of the accommodation would come in. It's, or really, I would love to hear this. If this is true for you guys,

Mandi: 30:38

very

Beth: 30:48

going to tell them they need to go brush their teeth and get ready for bed or do homework or just life circumstances, we've got to go in five minutes, whatever it is, I'm, I'm trying to predict how they'll respond based on, Them and how I know them and trying to create the atmosphere just right so that it will go smoother than if I don't predict and like try to plan accordingly. Do you guys do this?

Mandi: 31:15

Absolutely, yes. I think a lot of my,

Amanda: 31:20

Yeah.

Mandi: 31:22

a lot of my parenting is trying to predict, uh, Bad situations and prevent those things from happening. My two oldest we've homeschooled up until now, and my two oldest are going to go to a private school next year. And so a lot of my, I'm going through a lot of emotions of the change that's happening, um, in our family. And so my daughter says to me yesterday, mom, you're really a downer about like all the things that are going to happen at school, like, you know, I'll say, wow, well, if this happens at school next year, then how are you going to be prepared for that? You know, I'm just, and she's like, mom, she's just so excited about going to school and I'm afraid of the bad parts that are going to happen. There's a hard things that are going to come with it. And I'm trying to predict those things and protect them from that, because I know if it's hard for them, it's going to be hard for me, like internally it's a struggle. And so I. After she called me out on that yesterday, I let myself process it for a little bit and then I gave her a hug and I started crying and I said, I'm just sad. I'm just really sad and I won't have control. I, I won't be able to control the situation, um, as much as I've been able to thus far. So

Beth: 32:50

Yeah,

Mandi: 32:52

it's,

Beth: 32:52

yeah, and it's interesting, like, kind of talking about this because it's, we can, you can kind of hear that sixth part of us, you know, like the type six, like, I'm using the sixth part of my heart to plan and predict, but it has to do with relationships and connection and peace and harmony, right? And preventing the conflict or the tension or people being upset or hurt or not mattering. And so, but it's combining those two types together, ultimately for the type nines core motivations. Um, Let me tell you one quick, funny story, and I would love to hear, uh, Kristen and Amanda, if you have, you know, if you've done similar things, so when my kids were about three and one, you know, we lived in St. Louis at the time and in the winter. You just, you have cabin fever, right? Like, especially with little kiddos, you're like, I've just got to go somewhere. And we lived in a small apartment. So I went to the McDonald's playland, you know, thinking, okay, this will be great for Nate. You know, he'll have a little playland and we'll, you know, run a little bit and have some fun and we'll, we'll eat there. So when I got there, I pulled up and I thought, Okay, wait, if I go inside with a three and a one year old, how am I going to order and do all these things by myself and keep them happy and, you know, keep me sane? So I came up with this idea is like, Oh, I'm going to go through the drive through and I'm going to order because this is way before. Like you can pick it up, you know, on the shelf nowadays, but I'm going to go through the drive through and I'm going to order. And when I get to the window, I'm going to say, Hey, I'm coming inside. Can you put this on the counter? So I did that. And so then I went in and I was able to put Libby in her, um, uh, high chair that would roll around. So I rolled her around and had Nate hold on while I got the food. And I was like, this was great. It was like this really inventive, smart way to keep peace. Right. But I'm constantly thinking that way because I don't want to have to deal with the whining, the upset, the crying. And like, so like what you were saying, Amanda, like, like your son doing Rubik's cube, that is really hard for us to watch our kids, whether suffer legitimately or like, you really don't have to be upset, but just being in the room experiencing that physically is super hard. So anyway, tell me, have you guys experienced, or do you have similar stories?

Amanda: 35:17

I was just going to say. Okay. Um, I know that when I say go brush your teeth to one of my children, that it's going to have to happen like 10 times, even though we've been doing this for like 10 years now. But, um, my thing is, I was a teacher and I did not want any downtime for my kids, because if there's downtime, then they're going to start, and they were mostly disabled kids, so they start fussing and fighting. Um, and so I had to always have something for them to do at all times. And so with my children. I get kind of anxious, especially when they're little, like we have screen time, a certain amount of time, we have naps, we have dinner, but what about the time in between? What are they going to do? And I, um, had, you know, like now it's okay. We can kind of relax. They read books and they can play soccer, you know, whatever. But back then I felt like I had to have them doing something. I signed up my three year old for basketball. That was a mistake, but like to have him doing something so that there's not downtime that might cause me some emotion, like some discomfort. And especially with siblings. Um, and I feel like. As a parent, I give them more time with the TV than I would, I really want to.

Beth: 36:30

Me too.

Amanda: 36:31

that is the best time. It's like, even especially when we're all watching a show together, like we watch a show together and like, yes, we're together and we're not fighting and we're enjoying the same thing. And so I do have major mom guilt about the amount of screen time. Yeah,

Beth: 36:50

TV. It's like, yeah, but it's working really great. We're all, we're all happy right now. Um, or I can actually go, you know, cook or I can clean or I can do whatever needs to happen and they're happy. They're fine, so to speak. Right. You know, uh, so true. Kristen, what about you?

Kristen: 37:08

Oh, it is hard to balance that screen time, isn't it? But, um, I was kind of, uh, thinking or connecting when Amanda was talking about the sibling fighting and things. And, um, I think that I, of course, when they are fighting, it's a big stress to me. And, um, you know, you can feel it in your body and you, I either yell and try to stop it or, you know, scold them really, you know, you know, yell with my voice a lot, but, you know, yelling for me. And, um, and I, I think I realized probably through the Enneagram and realizing just the way that I naturally see things that, um, I was probably trying to stop things and control them more than I should, and that I should really let, especially the kids when they're dealing with something together, that it's really healthier for them to work it out together and when they can. And to an extent, but, um, so I try to like. Do a little bit better at letting them be loud, do their thing, figure it out. And sometimes I might need to send them out. That's fine. But, um, I can have noise canceling little ear things that, uh, try to use more that, uh, just didn't feel right in my ear, so I don't use them as much as I thought I would, but, uh, just to kind of keep that noise level down and makes me a little bit more calm and happy while everyone else might not be,

Beth: 38:29

Right. So my kids are 25, almost 26 and 23. And so that just kind of gives you guys a time reference. This is way before. So when they were toddlers and stuff way before like noise canceling, Airbus, Airbus, I would have loved that because you can, you can still hear, you know, like the things around you, but it just kind of. At least for me as a type nine mom, it just takes the edge off. Um, but back in the day, because we didn't have that, I would take, um, you know, those, uh, wax earplugs for like swimming, I would take those and I would just, I wouldn't, I'd make them really small and thin, you know, and just put them where I could still hear enough, but to take the edge off, because I knew that I was. Over parenting, trying to get them to be again, peaceful accommodators, little angels, like, let's all be quiet and like, keep our voices down, you know, cause that's what I wanted. That's what I liked. So if I would put those in, especially like in the car, it would, Allow them to be them in a healthy way. Right? I mean, obviously they're doing something that's mean or destructive or whatever. Obviously we have to jump in and parent. Um, but if they're just being kids, it's like, I kind of didn't want them to just be kids. Cause it was so loud and so hard to like contain that energy. Um, and so that's what I would do. Do you guys ever done anything similar or like, couldn't take the noise? Like I remember Jeff would wrestle with the kids, you know, and play on the floor and I'm visually looking at this going, this is wonderful. This is beautiful. You know, my husband's playing with the kids, but everything else in me was like, please stop. Like, I can't do this. This is too loud. This is too much energy. So I literally would let Jeff know, like, Hey, I'm going to go in the other room and like, Take a break or just you guys have fun, but I know that I'm going to try to stop you all when I shouldn't, I don't have to, um, but I'm going to go take care of myself. So basically have you guys tried any of those kinds of things or felt that when good things are happening, but your body feels otherwise. Yes,

Amanda: 40:49

have my, my room, I go to my room and shut the door and yeah, cause I also feel that stress. And when you mentioned Babies, like I refuse to work at my nursery at church, but like I have PTSD or something because I can't be there with babies crying that I can't fix or even don't even want to fix. But um, and so I feel bad, but they're like, well, we don't want people in there who don't really want to be in there. I'm like, okay, I'll do four girls. I'll do five girls, but not babies, not babies.

Beth: 41:20

yes, absolutely. Mandy or Kristen, what about you guys? Do you, do you do anything to kind of help curb the intensity of, well, Kristen, you said you put the, the air, um, airbeds in, but do you guys do anything else to kind of curb what's going on, whether removing yourself or doing something else?

Kristen: 41:40

I find I actually, what. Could use some improvement probably because I find myself sometimes in like that wrestling scenario or when dad's having a really good time with the kids, which he is very good at, uh, but it gets very loud and sudden noises and you're like, Whoa, and I can kind of feel myself doing that kind of like, um, passive aggressive, like, Okay, it's getting a little loud in here or something. It's

Beth: 42:04

exactly. Yes. And it's hard because it's like, You know, and there's times where, you know, we can't get away and we, and so there's times where we can endure it a little bit. And there's other times like we're really struggling and we have to just ask like, Hey, this isn't the time for me. Can you guys kind of keep it down? It was, there's a, we can't just not attune to our own needs and stuff. Um, Mandy, what about you? Have you done anything similar?

Mandi: 42:33

well, I mean, the little years were very difficult for me, um, just the, I would say just all of the chaos of having small children was very hard. Um, And, like, there was a time when we had moms group from our church that we would rotate hosting, uh, the moms and young kids to come to your house, and the week that I was supposed to host, everyone RSVP'd, so it was going to be, like, 12 adults and 20 to 30 kids and I couldn't sleep the night before at four in the morning. I emailed everyone and said, I'm not feeling so well, sorry, everybody. Like, so they all ended up doing something at the local library or something. But I was so just even envisioning all of the people in the small children in my house. I, I was like, I can't, I can't do it. I just can't do it. I mean, it was just. Overwhelming. And my, my house tends to be more quiet because I don't like loud. And so when I go visit someone else, their house can be super loud and kids are more chaotic. And I'm just thinking, how do you live like this? Like, what is going on here? And then I go home and I'm like, everybody be quiet now. Let's go read in our rooms. You know?

Beth: 43:57

Oh my gosh. So Jeff, you know, was a pastor for about 20 years and he loved small groups. Like that was his forte and he wanted small groups every week and I was this every week I was a wreck. I mean, it was. And then one day, so our, our church was one mile away, so it was great. And then, so then they had, um, youth group the same night as our small group and the youth group, there was some volunteers that had kids, so they had to have childcare there. So we capital R I capitalized on that. So I had all the parents take their kiddos there because we were already paying these It's caregivers there. And then they would just drive one mile and we could all enjoy, you know, the adult conversations. I mean, it was like this beautiful thing, but I'm the same way. It's like so much energy or like, what if parents aren't watching their kids? You know, like, you know, like is a dog gonna like jump on a kid or are they gonna like spill something? You know, you're just envisioning all of this chaos and it's just too much. Y'all can hear it in me. This is like, I can't even go there. Like you were saying, Amanda's like PTSD. It's like, no, I can't do it again. Um, but here's one thing, um, cause I know my kids are much older and I'd love to hear for some of you, cause actually your kids are like in this teenage year, so I'd love to hear, cause I bet you're kind of like right in the middle of this.

Mandi: 45:24

Yeah,

Beth: 45:25

it's hard when they were little, but as they get older, it becomes a new because they are in that stage of. Pushing back or asking great questions or disagreeing, but rightfully so like having their own opinions or thoughts or, um, stance on something. And, you know, with my husband being a type six, he was perfectly fine carrying on the conversations that were, let's say more debates than arguments. Oh, my word hate that, you know, cause like everything in me is like, this is on the precipice of conflict and like disruption, but just even the feeling of the back and forth just feels so horrible. But I'm sitting there going again, it's kind of like him wrestling with them on the floor. Like I'm going, there's nothing wrong with this right now, but everything in me can't Take it. And so then I just have to, you know, let them know, like, Hey, you all have fun with this conversation. I'm going to the room. Or if I can't leave the situation, Hey, can we do some conversation? This just is not going to work for me right now. And of course they all know me well enough. They know why this is a thing. And then sometimes I try to sit and like endure it. But are you guys at that stage now with your kids, some of them being a little older and kind of expressing themselves now and like, how do you deal with that? With that, at least what it feels like as a nine as tension and conflict.

Mandi: 46:54

As long, I mean, I, I, if I see the conflict. Happening in here. Maybe one of my kids say something to my husband that I know is not going to go. Over well, that's when I start to feel that like, Oh my gosh, why is this happening? I hate this. Um, just, I see the, like, the tension is starting to grow in the room. And, and I actually, I think sometimes I make it like it's this huge thing. And it's for everybody else. It's not, it's not as big a deal as I make it, but cause it feels so cool. Strong. I feel so strongly about the tension in the room and that somebody's hurt. Like I can tell everybody's feelings. I look around, I'm like, Oh man, he's hurt. She's upset. And that's where that I want to fix it comes in. Cause I hate it so much. Um, but I am learning that it's not my job to, to make everyone happy and to fix the problem. I need to let, let this. Stew or whatever, and then, um, give them an opportunity to reconcile. And before I'm brought into the situation, so. Okay. 10,

Beth: 48:16

what about you?

Mandi: 48:18

7, 6,

Kristen: 48:20

oldest is 11. So I have a feeling we have a lot more of this kind of thing coming. Um, of course there has, there still has been times where, uh, you know, you just see a situation and, um, don't agree or don't, don't think things should be going that way. Or, um, you know, I think just the has helped a lot to just like already go in with like, Oh yeah. They're not thinking the way I do. He's my husband's not going to do things the way I would. And so just like letting some of that go is probably a good thing, but it is hard. And, you know, Just feeling that conflict and tension is pretty tricky for us, I think.

Beth: 48:59

Yeah, absolutely. Um, Amanda. So what about you? Cause your kids are, I think a little older, like older teenage years, right. Or some of them.

Amanda: 49:09

Almost 15 and a 12 year old and the 10 year old. Um, However, my 14 year old being, maybe being a nine or just his personality, like we don't have conflict very much at all. The most conflict we have is when he's mad that I'm not disciplining the youngest the way he thinks I should.

Beth: 49:27

Sure. Yeah.

Mandi: 49:28

Silence.

Amanda: 49:34

but, um, so that's when really most of our conflict is, um, is that. But besides that, I kind of worry a little bit in the future. Like, is he going to be able to stand up for himself? Is he going to be able to speak up for himself? Um, because he does kind of like, it's fine. We'll just do it. You know, like, his dad wants him to, um, go work out or go hit the baseball, do things that he doesn't want to do. He's into soccer now. Um, you know, like, you don't have to go if you don't want to go, and I have to keep saying, like, you can tell dad, I don't want to do that, you don't have to do that, because, but you don't want to hurt dad's feelings, and, um, or you could say, dad, let's play, take the soccer ball instead, you know, and I'm trying to coach him a little bit on how to say what he wants, um, instead of just going along, I mean, his times, and he wants to preserve people's feelings, but also, yeah, I mean, we care about what you say, we want to know what you think, And my, yeah, and my daughter doesn't, I mean, she's not yet in a place where she's

Mandi: 50:36

Um,

Beth: 51:05

storm, right? Like,

Mandi: 51:06

Silence.

Amanda: 51:10

but I, I know it's coming, but so far they've been, they're very mature too, my two older ones are very mature, so that's been helpful. And my, like I said, my third is my more difficult reason, kind of reason, which um, so.

Beth: 51:25

Yeah. Cause I think, you know, so, you know, with my kids kind of going through all that and they're both as ones of six and ones of two, so they're both compliant types. Um, but what I've noticed within myself as a parent is as they continue to become the truest versions of themselves and have their opinions and the direction of life they want to go, if it doesn't adhere to To maybe my view or my husband and nice, you know, marriage view, you know, they're kind of going off doing their own thing, you know, that can in itself create tension or conflict or like our daughter's married. So then like, you know, navigating, you know, the in laws time with my, you know, with the kids and the grandkid versus, so there's all these new dynamics as your kids even get older. And so as a nine, it's like, I'm seeing how There's kind of this evolution of the tension that I feel internally. It's just different stages. Um, and so like, even though we have a great relationship with our kids, you know, if they want to go do something that's totally different than what we would normally do, or they have a different, let's say political viewpoint or religious viewpoint, then, you know, there's those kinds of conversations and those can be beautiful and rich. But I think as a nine, it's really hard, you know, because it's like, can we just all like, Believe the same thing, like, just be fine. Um, but enabling, and I think that's kind of what you were saying earlier is

Mandi: 52:53

Okay.

Beth: 53:00

mean that there is discord or disruption in our connection as a family. Like we can still be close and be very different. And I think for a type nine parent, that's really a hard concept to To embrace and to feel comfortable with. Um, so, okay. Uh, two last things. So I want to bring up one more struggle and I want to be, I'm going to be very vulnerable, but then I want to talk about how the Enneagram has been so helpful for you guys in your parenting journey. Okay. So the last topic I want to talk about is type nines. Like kind of the hidden struggle we have is that we basically don't want to be bothered. We don't tell anyone this. We don't even want them to know that this is a real thing, but we just don't want to be bothered. So I'm constantly trying to. Again, predict things, you know, so that I am not bothered with, with a discord or tension or conflict, or just. Basically, I just want to just chill and be at peace and harmony and like, everything's fine. So when things come up that disrupt any of that, it's like, Oh, internally, I feel like frustrated, but I don't want people to know that because I don't want them to think that. I'm saying they don't matter or that I don't want to be bothered by you. Like you, your presence doesn't matter or it's too much. You're too much. So I keep that kind of hidden, but you know, like when the kids would cry or whine or need something, there's this initial hit in my gut of, Oh, okay. I have to do something. And then I feel really like this shame or guilt as a mom, like, well, that's mean, like, You should want to be needed or you should be want, want to be wanted. And so I had this internal, um, tension within myself of, I do want to love and nurture my kids and I just kind of want to be left alone in that peace and harmony. Do you guys experience this too?

Mandi: 55:09

Yes.

Amanda: 55:09

Yes.

Beth: 55:11

Okay. So I, I see heads nodding. So Amanda, you start what, what, how do you experience this?

Amanda: 55:20

I, um, like especially in the spring to when my kids get home from school, they can have their screen time and I go and get maybe a glass of wine and a book and sit on the porch and I'm enjoying it and then my sweet daughter says, Oh, do you want me to come read with you on the porch? I'm like, of course I do. Come sit with me and read. And then she talks, talks, talks, talks. And so there's that pull of like. Of course, I love that she wants to do that. So I have to do that. Then I'm going to do that. Um, but by the end of the day

Mandi: 55:50

Okay. Okay.

Amanda: 56:21

Nobody bothered me. And then I can go to sleep. And sometimes that's very late at night. My husband does not understand why I will stay up so late. I just want to be by myself. Nobody bothered me in my own house.

Beth: 56:30

Yes, and it gets more tricky as they get older, because then they stay up later. It's like, wait, what's happening?

Amanda: 56:37

Yeah.

Beth: 56:38

Yeah. Mandy, what about you? Yep. Okay.

Mandi: 56:58

Um, then the girl, my girls like fighting and coming to me and telling me, you know, why one of them's right and the other one's wrong and, um, just, it just, it's the emotional energy and, I recently apologized to my husband because I realized that I do this in a lot of relationships is this withdrawal, like this emotional withdrawal, because the five is afraid of catastrophic depletion, but I think the nine, like we have only so much emotional energy and we're afraid of someone taking all of it. Like I only have so much to give. And if you ask too much of me. I will disintegrate or something. Um, so I apologized to my husband because I, I said, I don't want to withdraw from you, like if of all the people in the world that I should withdraw from, I don't want my husband to be the one that I close myself off or I just shut down, like just kind of go into a numb place. Um, and so I'm learning that, but I also have to have boundaries. Because I don't have an endless amount of emotional energy for people. So, and that's, I think knowing yourself is so important and the Enneagram really helps with that so much. Um, maybe that's why the nines like the Enneagram so much because it gives us. Language for understanding. Like, why do I do this? Like, why do I shut down? Um, when I really don't want to, I feel guilty if I do that. I feel like I'm not there for my people when they want me to be there. So. Um,

Beth: 59:17

I also expend myself to the point where I, it's like, I can't even go any further. And, but then it's like, the fear is, but what if I don't? Take the next step to show them that their presence mattered. Are they going to believe that their presence doesn't matter? Like, are they going to feel that I don't think they're important or special? And so I keep kind of pushing myself to quote unquote, be the best mom, of course, through the lens of a nine and listen one more time or sit with them one more time. And I think what happens is I negate. What I need and how to take care of myself in the fear that they would think that I'm saying their, their presence doesn't matter. I, they're not important enough for me in that moment. And that is such a strong driver for me as a mom. Um, Kristen, what about you?

Kristen: 1:00:12

Well, um, listening to you guys, I actually think I don't connect as much with that one. And it may be, I know that I have a strong social subtype, uh, and so I don't really get super drained, or I don't feel a lot of what you guys are talking about. I'm sure there are times, and Nighttimes are of course harder and like, let's just go to bed. And I do the stay up late by myself and for hours and longer than I ever thought I would be, uh, before I had kids. Uh, so I do get some energy back that way, but I think I don't recognize it. Um, as much as it sounds like you guys might, uh, when it's happening or, you know, I don't feel that depletion or that, like, I just need time away. And that just might be that, um, social driver or whatever. Uh, yeah.

Beth: 1:00:57

Can you, can you pass some of that

Mandi: 1:00:59

Yeah,

Beth: 1:01:00

here?

Kristen: 1:01:01

Love you

Mandi: 1:01:01

a self, I'm self prez, so I'm, I'm definitely more introverted, um, And just, I'm totally fine, like, not talking to people for long periods of time, which my social daughter cannot understand at all. If I'm by myself, she's like, are you alone? Are you lonely? Do you feel lonely? I'm like, no, never. I never feel alone. Like, ever. She just doesn't understand that at all. Okay.

Beth: 1:01:35

prez. Yeah. And I'm, I'm the one to one. And so I'm Highly fixated on merging, especially with like Jeff. And so it's exhausting. And so there's this sense of, I just, I just need my own time and space. Um, okay. So let's dive into this, wrapping this all up. I'd love to hear how has the Enneagram helped you as a type nine, one, nine parent, um, become a healthier version of yourself. And And enjoy yourself and to know that your presence matters and that you're so important. Um, how has the Enneagram helped you and where have you seen it help you the most?

Amanda: 1:02:19

I'll start. Um, Pursuing my coaching Enneagram coach, um, certificate. Well, I didn't know was such a growth for me as a nine as I'm doing it. I'm like, Oh, this is what I'm doing. And I found my passion. I forgot, I'm not just loving my kids and driving them everywhere in a hundred percent mom, I had a passion before I had kids and I forgot what it was. And I rediscovered it by, um, Reading some books that are interesting to me and I'm like, gosh, I love this so much. I want to do more of this. And so, um, just finding my passion was It's so great. And I, I work very hard at it and I love it. And my husband sadly does not like his job. And,

Beth: 1:03:05

Hmm.

Amanda: 1:03:05

and I'm like, I really love what I'm doing. I find it so interesting. I wish you could find something you love so much. Um, but I think it's really, I love that my kids are seeing me pursuing a passion and loving something besides them. They know I love them and I still spend my time thinking of them and doing things for them, but, um, it's very healthy. I feel like that they see me, um, pursuing my, Interest and passions and even just like my husband loves the cold and I like the hot he loves Hiking and going on vacations that are skiing and work when I consider work skiing's hard just getting dressed as hard as skiing, but Um, he was deployed and so I did a lot of things that I wanted to do that he would not have wanted to do, including taking my kids to Hilton Head and just sitting on the beach in the morning, reading by myself for hours. And it was the most amazing thing and I'm like, I can say, I don't, why don't we go to the beach instead of skiing this year or stand up for what I want for my vacation, you know, or make that more known. And, um, yeah, cause that's healthy and that's. I want my kids to see me doing that as well. Modeling that instead. Okay, whatever y'all want to do, we'll just do what y'all want to do.

Beth: 1:04:21

Yeah.

Mandi: 1:04:22

You Okay.

Amanda: 1:04:22

so that's

Beth: 1:04:24

That's great.

Amanda: 1:04:25

definitely grown and seen and pursued that, uh, knowing that that's me growing. I can keep moving forward with this, using my three energy to be, I'm afraid of failure. I really am. But I also have this, um. Read, um, path that I can go to and keep working hard and I'm not going to fail, I'm not going to fail, I tell myself, I can keep, I can keep doing this and I haven't failed because I've been learning and growing and people are like, gosh, you really, I haven't seen such growth in you and I'm like, there's no failure if that's what's happening here.

Beth: 1:05:01

I love that. Yep. Self growth, knowing ourselves, going with our passions while we still, you know, are loving others in the moment, you know, and, and accommodating when necessary and when, when it's healthy, but also asserting ourselves is, you know, such a beautiful thing. Um, Mandy, what about you? How's the Enneagram really helped you in being a mom?

Mandi: 1:05:24

and I think it's helped me understand myself so much better, um, and it's given me voice in some ways. I think there's been lots of things that have helped me with that. And also to know that when there's tension in relationships, um, or if I'm disciplining my kids and actually meaning what I say and following through, that it's not hurting the relationship. It's, it's healthy. And, um, it feels contrary to what I think it is. You know, it feels like there's conflict, but there it's not And um, so it's helped me with just kind of being firm with my kids instead of being you know Kind of like I don't know. Maybe I should discipline you. I don't know so it's helped me in that way and I've learned like My favorite name of God is the God who sees and the Hagar story, um, where she says, you saw me, um, he sees me. And so I think I love that. God sees me no matter what, when I feel like nobody else does. And I also bring that to others in relationship, especially like quiet people or people on the margins. I moved toward them and I want them to know, like, I see you. Um, and that's part of like a gift from God that he put that on my heart to see people, um, like he sees me and I do that with my kids. You know, I see them, like you said, we study our kids from the time they're little, so just seeing like each of them individually and what, They're struggling with or, um, what drives them, what their passions are. So it's helped me in a lot of ways. Those are just a few.

Beth: 1:07:30

Yeah, Kristen, what about you? Okay.

Kristen: 1:07:33

Oh, um, I think understanding, uh, myself through the Enneagram and then understanding how different others can be. Um, including my kids. And so I brought that into the lens of not really necessarily knowing what number they may be, but having some ideas and watching how different some of them are. And it really does help just to go into that with that mind frame of, Hey, you are different. You could be looking at it this way and kids or anyone. And I really just does help, uh, to calm things down, which of course I like. And, um, and I think, uh, help me to maybe be more confident in my communication also, like. Yeah, I can go ahead and say something and I should. And so I've realized that like, instead of holding back, like some people will appreciate that I'm going to say this or that I want, they might have a different opinion. And, um, then that it's good for me to go ahead and, and say things that are on my mind. Uh, so things to grow in, but also that I've been working on, I think. And

Beth: 1:08:35

Yeah. No, that's great. Yeah. I think the, um, you know, like for me, uh, like you guys have said so many things helping, I think I find the Enneagram fascinating cause it's like a cheat sheet for us nines to really understand others. Cause like we're always trying to understand others and their point of view, but it's like just such a quicker way of doing it. It's like a cheat sheet. Um, but more than that, understanding myself, like you guys said, because I'm You know, before the Enneagram, I was like, I don't know what I want. You know, I'll just go along with whatever you say. Fine. And thinking that's loving and to a degree that is, you know, right. Some accommodation is healthy and loving, but not knowing myself, not asserting myself, um, not developing myself in my passions and my gifts that that's not loving to myself or to others, and it's not God honoring. So by really studying who God created me to be. And to then take that next step, even if it's a little step into asserting myself, my passions, my desires has been so hard, but so rewarding at the same time. Um, well guys, thank you so much for just being open and honest, um, and vulnerable. And I know that so many other parents are going to. Um, really enjoy this conversation because if they're not a type nine, they're going to be like really surprised and wowed. Like, really, this is how you guys like think of parenting. This is how you experience it. And hopefully they'll have compassion for us. But also, um, Be like excited about the gifts that we, we bring, but for those type nine parents out there, they're going to feel so seen, understood and validated. So I just really appreciate you guys spending the time to do a little mini cohort, um, as an example of what's to come with our cohorts for, um, at least to begin with Enneagram for moms cohorts, um, coming up here really soon. So thank you guys so much for being with us or being with me today.

Kristen: 1:10:38

thank you.

Amanda: 1:10:39

Uh, thank you.

Beth: 1:10:40

Wow. I am just so blessed to have these type nine moms with me, especially today being a type nine myself and just having them be authentic and vulnerable about their experiences. I hope that you can see how being a part of a mini cohort could be so enriching to you to feel validated, to feel seen, known, heard. Um, As a parent. So that is really what it's all about. Now we'll be taking you through a guided, um, series so that you can explore and learn more about your strengths and weaknesses and growth path as a parent, um, as a mom in the cohorts. Um, but this is just to give you A glimpse of what it's going to be like, and we're really excited for them to start. So if you are interested in being a part of a community like this, we are opening registration for Enneagram for moms cohorts on May 6th. So it's just around the corner. So if that is something that you're interested in, be sure to write down the website, your Enneagram coach. com forward slash. Cohorts. Now there are only 25 spaces per group. We'll have one in the daytime, one in the evening. So don't miss out in, in grabbing your spot. Again, it opens on May 6th to the 13th. So this would be a great mother's day gift for anyone, for yourself, or for someone else. And I'm really excited because our newest book Enneagram for moms is coming out July 9th. So we've really paired this up to kind of come out and be released at the same time. Now the cohorts will start on June 10th and the book will come out in July. So again, grab your seat today, grab one for your mom, your sister, your, um, wife, your daughter, whoever is an enthusiast of the Enneagram. And a mom, they definitely want to be a part of these cohorts. They're going to have such rich, um, life giving relationships from this cohort. Okay. So your Enneagram coach. com forward slash cohorts. Now, next week, we're going to have another mini cohort with type one moms. And then the following weeks we'll go type two, three, and so on and so forth. So join us next week as we experienced the same thing, but from the type one moms perspective. Can't wait for you to be with us then. See ya.