Jeff: 0:00

Hey, everyone. I'm Jeff McCord, co founder and CEO of your Enneagram coach. So delighted that you're here. I am joined today with our director of coaching, Adam Breckenridge. Mr Breckenridge. Great to be with you again.

Adam: 0:17

you, Mr. McCord. I've really enjoyed, um, hanging podcast, and we're going to be doing that. Yeah. For a few weeks now, moving

Jeff: 0:26

being a man that's in kind of rural, Arkansas and kind of isolated from people doing your Arkasonian type things. What's it like to connect with the bigger world around you? I

Adam: 0:45

to connect with, uh, a little piece of God's country

Jeff: 0:50

you're, you're, your room there is kind of like a cabin. Like, are you kind of a nomad, uh, isolated and

Adam: 0:59

You know, it's funny. It's funny. Everybody that I meet with, you know, when I meet with our coaches or I meet with, you know, anybody, they're always like, Are you in a, are you like in a cabin or a retreat center or what is this place? And, and I'm like, this is, so we bought this house two years ago. It's clear that when this house was built, this room was intended to be some kind of like, um, I think a man cave, uh, I think is what it was intended to be. And, and so I have three daughters, as you know, and, um, And none of them, none of them wanted this room. And so I said, you know, this is going to be my office. And so it's not, uh, it's not the, I'm not in the attic.

Jeff: 1:38

office. Yeah,

Adam: 1:44

a bedroom. There's a closet, there's a window. The walls are insulated. Sometimes people are like, is this like the attic? And I'm like, no, dude, it's not. I'm not, I'm not stuck in the, nobody puts baby in the attic. This is my office. Oh,

Jeff: 2:05

I don't I just can't imagine Does anybody call you baby? Does your wife call you baby? What's your pet nickname? What's your husband name,

Adam: 2:16

Uh, you know, sometimes you might go with honey, just, yeah, just honey, just honey. Uh, I

Jeff: 2:23

to think I don't think Beth has a nickname for me. I mean people probably have heard me called Beth Bethy That's her nickname or sweetie I'm not sure if Beth actually has a nickname for me, but I You can't put baby in the attic.

Adam: 2:38

Nobody puts baby in the attic. And I just hope

Jeff: 2:41

Is that a move? Is that a live from a movie?

Adam: 2:43

oh, you bet it is. In fact, I'd love for, if you're listening to this episode, I'd love for you to go to the comment section right now and tell us what movie reference that is. Um, tell us what I'm, cause I'm, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna say, I'm gonna let our audience tell you what movie reference that is. Yeah.

Jeff: 3:05

us for the past three episodes, um, we've been talking about the subtypes, but, um, Beth is actually, uh, our fearless leader, Enneagram expert, the Yoda that made it all. Um, she is on sabbatical after just a, an amazing run. She's going to take a little bit of a break. Um, and so Adam and I, um, I'm not sure, you know, the phrase when the cat's away the mice are at play, you know, I, uh, I gotta admit, uh, The comments that could potentially happen on our episodes and youtube channel Might take a radically different trajectory Uh now that we're leading and talking on the podcast

Adam: 3:52

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Jeff: 4:01

It's a different vibe, oh man,

Adam: 4:05

That's the only

Jeff: 4:06

I

Adam: 4:06

it. Look, look, look, look. You still get, you still get the Enneagram insights and, and the relational application that the rich relationship application, and you're going to get elements of, you know, um, our pastoral, uh,

Jeff: 4:25

I mean, we take people on a journey that they have no idea where they're going. Neither do we, but

Adam: 4:32

And that journey, that journey includes the ridiculousness. It recludes, it includes the ridiculous and the, and, and the sublime and the serious, but, um, but it,

Jeff: 4:45

I mean, what we, I'm, I'm thankful for our listeners that they get to experience us.

Adam: 4:53

yeah, I am too. That's I am too.

Jeff: 4:58

I'm not sure my family would say that about their experience of me. Um, I will say, you know, last year, you know, many of you know that I end up having bypass surgery and have been on a little bit of a health journey. Some might say since that time, but, uh, they almost lost the El Mocordo. So yeah, they, uh, they were perceiving a reality of, um, without me. And that was, that was a scary reality

Adam: 5:27

was not cool, Jeff. It was not cool. It is the least cool, least funny thing you've ever done in our relationship.

Jeff: 5:35

But, but I thought the funny moment that you and I had in that, cause there were some Interesting moments throughout But you texted me And I was on the I was in I was in an ambulance from one hospital to the other where I was going to have my surgery And you texted me And I said I responded back something like yeah, i'm in an ambulance right now And you're like what

Adam: 6:04

Yeah. And I did not know, I did not know whether or not, whether to take you seriously or not. I was like, because that's, that's part of our relationship is like, you're like, yeah, I'm on my deathbed. And I'm like, what? Like, but are you, are you really, you know? And I'm like, this is, this was a really, you talk about a six going into like. doubt of like, how do I respond to this text? Like, do I make a joke? Do I say, do I just like, haha, the, the text or, uh, but I chose, I chose instead to, I think I texted you back and immediately called Beth and I was like, what's going on? Like

Jeff: 6:45

Had we not told you what was going on yet

Adam: 6:48

knew what was going on, but I did not know, I knew you were in the hospital and I had texted to check on you. The development that had happened in between our last communication, which had just been earlier in that, that afternoon, we had communicated in, in the, in the gap of our communication, you had gotten some results and they had said, we need to move you now. We need to get you ready for, we're going to move you. Uh, I think or something, something happened. They put you, they transferred you to another hospital, I think is what happened and that's, that's where you ended up in the ambulance and that's where you had gotten the news that things were more serious and that I had not, y'all had just found that out. So I did not know that yet. And when I texted you, I was so surprised and then not surprised that you even texted me back in that moment. I'm like, of course he's texting me in the, in the, in the back of the ambulance, you know, he's probably, he's probably like. Emailing, responding to a customer service email or something too, you know, um,

Jeff: 7:49

such a six moment like yeah as long as I'm still ticking I'm still still working still available

Adam: 7:56

dutiful, responsible, loyal, trustworthy. Oh

Jeff: 8:02

funny. Well, hey, we are the the boys are back and We are here to finish off this series on the instinctual Subtypes and the reason why we're doing this because it's consistent with our Vision and values for your enneagram coach where we want to help people to see themselves with astonishing clarity to break free from the self condemnation fear and shame by knowing and experiencing the Unconditional love forgiveness and freedom that's in christ And the reason why we're talking about the instinctual subtypes is because you know, there's some practical relevancy to it number one You know, this is One more time that all of our types are like Sherwin Williams paint colors. There's hundreds of shades and tones of them. And so we can't put stereotypes and put people in a box is that they're going to show up differently and we shouldn't treat, um, the differences with a kind of contemptuous or shaming remarks like, Oh, you're not a one or you're not a five. You can't be an extroverted five. You know, ones are supposed to be critical of other people. What do you mean? Uh, you're just critical of yourself and that doesn't show up to others. Or what do you mean? You, you, you mean you're a courageous, brave, but anxious six. What does that even look like or mean? Um, and it just explains a lot of the variances between, uh, each Enneagram type and two, the instincts are actually a precursor to our Enneagram style of relating. So the instinct is what. sort of is activated first that brings personality online. And so this is, um, when these instincts go off, this is what our personality types are, uh, responding to in order to kind of navigate how we address our humanity and living in a fallen world. Uh, Adam, why don't you go through what the three instincts are and be sure to include a definition of the counter type, because we've been addressing that each Type has a counter type of the three types of a number. There's one counter type that's uncharacteristic of that type. And so why don't you go through and just give us a brief explanation of those.

Adam: 10:16

Absolutely. Yeah. The first instinct is what we call self preservation. And this is a focus on, do I have what I need to survive? It's a, it's a, it helps us take care of our own safety and health and well being and make sure that we have all the resources that we need. The, um, so that's self preservation. The second instinct is social. And this is more focused on, uh, society or my people, my group, my herd. This is how is, how is my presence and actions and attitudes affecting those around me?

Jeff: 10:51

Adam, I want to be in your herd.

Adam: 10:53

Oh,

Jeff: 10:54

I think we ought to create our own herd.

Adam: 10:56

you're, you are definitely in my herd. Uh, it's, uh, you know, we, we talk about the Buffalo, the Buffalo that run into the storm together.

Jeff: 11:04

Yes. Oh, we're running in the storm together, bro.

Adam: 11:06

you're the one that introduced me to that idea. And I, you know,

Jeff: 11:09

It's a noble idea. I love, yeah. Referring to our herd. I'll be sure to, I'm sure the. The team, other team members will appreciate us. Now we're no longer a team. We're a herd.

Adam: 11:23

We're a herd. That's exactly right. Herd mentality.

Jeff: 11:28

It's a band name. The herd.

Adam: 11:30

name. The herd. That's it. Um, uh, you could be the front man of that band. Um, and that is the, that's the social instinct. And then, you know, your third instinct is one to one or some call it sexual. And this is, this is an intense focus on one to one relationships. This is an intense drive for intimacy. And, and it's, you know, a strong awareness of, of the chemistry that you have between yourself and one other person, uh, or a select small group of people. Um, but that's, that's the one to one instinct. And, um, we use all three, all three instincts can show up for us in different ways to help us connect and protect, or another way to say that is survive. Um, and when you're Enneagram. Type meets your instinct. Again, we have all three instincts. When your type meets the three instincts, it forms the three subtypes. So every Enneagram type has three subtypes. It's almost like three different versions of the same type. So there are 27 total instinctual subtypes within the Enneagram. Um, and as you mentioned earlier, Jeff, um, there are nine counter types. So in those subtypes, each Enneagram type has a counter type. One of the subtypes is going to go against the flow of the Uh, Enneagram core type or main type. Um, so the easiest example for us, the softball pitch is, um, we talk about the sixes, it's kind of the most, um, famous of all the counter types because it's so counter. Um, and you know, Jeff and I are both sixes, but, um, whereas sixes are phobic and they're, you know, uh, driven by this core, uh, this core longing for safety. Um, and, and they're driven by a lot of times by fear, the counterphobic six, which is the one to one six is going to deal with their fear by pressing into it. So it's not going to look phobic. Um, it's going to look like more like an eight. It's going to look more like strength and, uh, and power and bravado. And they're going to get, they're going to do what they can to get bigger than their fear. So that's the example for the six, but each of the nine types, and we'll, we'll, we're going to look at this in just a second with eight, not in one. Each of the nine types has a counter type that sort of goes against, pushes against the flow in the energy of the main type. So, um,

Jeff: 13:57

Adam, the one thing that's come up because we were addressing this through the lens, uh, or framing it in the context of the, uh, of the triads. And so we've dealt with the heart triad, two threes and fours, and the thinking triad, five, six, and sevens. Now we're dealing with the gut triad, which they deal with the issue of justice and, uh, the. The emotion of it of anger and we're going to talk through how these instincts and how well how they address the experience of injustice and anger, but it's also through this lens or you can kind of think of a prism of the subtypes and the instincts is that there's. Dealing with injustice and anger, but self press, social, and one to one. So there, there is an element to where, you know, we're still responding to these multiple layers, but we're just kind of trying to fixate on defining the subtypes, and then we'll have some different applications as it relates to, uh, what it means to be in the triad, and maybe how they experience their anger, how they're trying to avoid that anger, um, and how their subtype is actually. nuances that experience. So Adam, once you dive in and let's just dive into, uh, type eights. I

Adam: 15:20

Let's do it. Self preservation aides, these are sometimes called survivalists. Um, they are focused on controlling their environment and ensuring their physical safety. Very independent, strong, practical, tough minded. Again, they're using their power to, um, Protect themselves and make sure they have what they need and make sure they're not going to be hurt or betrayed or, um, or, or, you know, go without, um, this is their self preservation instinct. They're going to want to use their power and resources to. maintain their dominance in every situation and to uphold their independence. They can sometimes mistype as a five because they can have pretty tall, thick walls that they set with people and some strong boundaries. Um, they tend to get what they want. They're very persuasive. Um, they, they are known for knowing how to bargain and barter to get what they want. Um, their strengths are they're incredibly resourceful, very self reliant, strong willed. Those are all strengths that they, that they possess. Um, challenges is they can be overly aggressive. They can be too distrustful, uh, too closed off, and, uh, they can be, be too confrontational. So that's the self preservation eights.

Jeff: 16:41

mean, you can see how intense the response is to this experience, this feeling of, or not feeling injustice of not facing betrayal again, um, is, uh, react as, as a very protective style of relating to the world. And we call that a self preservation style of relating. And that's how it shows up for the type eight. Well, tell us about the social eight.

Adam: 17:07

Yeah, the socially, it's actually the counter type. In this, in this case. So they are, whereas the one to one aid is highly protective of themselves, the social aid is very protective of their tribe. And as a way of protecting themselves, they will seek to support and protect their people. Um, They, they show up as incredibly helpful and loyal, um, less aggressive, unless you come after their group, you know, um, I have a friend, um, she, uh, actually ran the hospitality ministry in the, one of the churches that I pastored, um, years ago, and she is a social eight and. She, um, for a long time thought she might be a two. That's actually social aides can mistype as twos because they're very helpful. They're helpers. They're caring. They're pouring out for others, but you want to see her eight side. Um, you come after her people and, uh, the mama bear.

Jeff: 18:09

Yeah.

Adam: 18:10

comes out, the claws come out and the strength, the strength shows up. And then you feel this energy of like, Oh, wow, there's this visceral reaction to someone, um, in their group or someone weaker being attacked or harmed. And they will step in, they will step in and use their strength to bring about justice in those situations. They're more outgoing, typically more friendly, more nurturing, a little more mellow than the other eight, uh, subtypes. Their strengths, as I've mentioned, is they're protective, uh, they're justice oriented, they're decisive, um, they're servant hearted, big hearted. Uh, the challenges is that they can struggle with vulnerability. They can be over controlling. Um, and man, they can, they don't, they don't forget easily. They can struggle to, to, if, if you come across their people or transgress their people, they can be, it can be, they can be tough to forgive. They can be tough to, tough to ever trust. If you break their trust, um, you know, they can really put up a boundary with, with you. So, uh, and sometimes that's really healthy. Sometimes it's not healthy. So that is the social eight. Let's round this out with the one to one eight. Sometimes we call these the possessive eights. Possessive just means that they, they tend to, to, to come in and kind of take over the whole environment and they really sort of demand everyone's attention. I mean, they're like magnets. Um, they enjoy the thrill of intense stimulation and adrenaline rushes. These are the eights that will, they're energized by conflict. So they might love to start an argument. Um, if you have a one to one eight, this is the one at the dinner table, you know, at Thanksgiving, that's going to roll a grenade on the table and say like, you know, this, this, this, um, this is we're recording this episode in the summer of 2024. So we're coming up, this is an election year. So this is this. If you have a one to one eight, this is the one in November, uh, at Thanksgiving. That's going to want to bring up politics just to. Uh, start a fight. And, um, they're energized by this, this provocativeness and this intense stimulation and the adrenaline of the moment, uh, they are the most rebellious, most provocative of all, uh, of all the different eights. Um, they want their closest relationships to be as strong as them. So there's this kind of come at me energy. Like don't, they do not want to have to be the adult and take care of everyone. So whereas the social eight. Can play more of a caretaker role and it more would be more like the adult in the room that's parenting and taking care of One to one aides do not they want you to take care of yourself. I don't want to provide you you take care of yourself Don't make me do it. Um And you know what that can that can actually be really healthy, you know, they're they're not gonna they're they're gonna be the least codependent Um of probably anyone on the enneagram. Uh, uh, and so their strengths are they're loyal they're differentiated You They're assertive. Um, they're funny. They're, you know, sometimes the standup, they can make great standup comedians because they're so provocative and they love just to, again, throw a bomb in the, in the room and watch everybody's reaction. It's, it can be hilarious. Um, it can also be offensive. So their, their challenges is they, they can be offensive. They can be overly possessive, too intense, and they can struggle with moderation. So Jeff, that's, that's our subtypes for the eight.

Jeff: 21:49

Mm. And, and you can see all of this is around who's, who's in, who's out, who's with me, who's loyal, uh, who's, who's in the circle of trust, who's outside of the circle of trust. Um, some are going to be much more inclusive of that. You can see how they resonate with other people. There's like, there's definitely some counter phobic six stuff that you're noticing in the eights. There's some two stuff dynamics there. We've mentioned before that some of these, um, the, uh, uh, one to one fours can often kind of present as the eights. Um, there's definitely some three types that, uh, that can, I'm thinking of particularly, um, Um, was that the social three that can kind of look like an eight? Um, the, the social eights, right? Um, and so sometimes there's some mistyping that can happen here, um, when, as they resonate with other types, but remember they're, they're still operating from the same core, um, desires, the core fear, desire, weakness, and longing of the eight, but they're, they're still, In reference to that, how they're dealing with injustice is that is it related to how they're seeing the self press? I'm in this alone social. I'm in this with a group and I'm going to use my strength to defend all of us. Or is it this more tightly sealed? I'm going to have this close knit group that I'm still going to remain provocative like I'm ambivalent towards them. I'm in there in with me. They're out with me. But I'm so I'm going to be possessive of them. I'm going to be focused on the smaller group of people. Um, well, why don't we dive into the type nine, which man, I feel like I'm, I've got a lot of nines around me, but there are a lot of nines in the world. It seems like I don't know what the Demographic numbers are, I hear rumors of different things, but there does seem to be a lot of nines in the world. Well, let's look at the self prez nine. They're the comfort seeking nines. Their focus is on personal comfort and staying in their own comfort zones. Their passion is sloth, so they're not fully showing up and that's seen in how they can merge with people. familiar routines and physical comforts. Okay. They seek out supportive environments where they are untroubled by other people's influence and expectations. Now, you know, please understand the idea of the passion being sloth. That's true for all three subtypes of the nine, but this is showing up for how they And when they are slothful, they are looking for personal comfort versus like the social nine, which is going to look for that comfort whenever hurt their relationships. I say her because, um, they can particularly about whenever they're, um, but whenever they're, Relationships are at rest. That's when they are at rest versus their own personal comfort. They can be in, um, they can be the most stubborn of all of the nines. They're simply just unwilling to move. They're resistant to change if it requires them to adjust their pace and routines. Um, As a matter of fact, as I'm thinking about this, uh, I think my dad's probably a self prez nine. Um, he is so consistent. I think he went to the same donut shop before work for 20 years and got the same donut and ate part of it for breakfast and part of it for his morning break, uh, when he was at work. Uh, the same chocolate twist, kind of fun. Uh, just thinking about that now. Um, Their, their strengths are that they're very patient, very grounded, and have a lot of common sense, but their challenge is that they become complacent. They're resistant to change. They're in their zone of comfort, um, and they don't want to move from it, and they can be very stubborn to a fault. Um, and you know, I think that as I think about my dad, my mom died.

Adam: 25:48

Uh,

Jeff: 25:51

and he's not remarried and I, you know, one of the things I can remember him saying is that, um, he's kind of stuck in his ways and didn't want those ways to be changed. Um, that would be, uh, um, a very self prez nine way of approaching it. Well, let's talk about the social nines. The social nines are participatory. They're much more engaged. They're the counter type, actually, of the subtypes of the nines. And they're going to be more outgoing, active, and involved in a group or community. Um, and instead of merging with routines or merging with individuals, which will be the one to one, the social nines merge with the the group as they, so that they can feel like they belong and that their voice matters within a particular community. Uh, they can mistype as a type three or type seven because of their optimism and task orientation. So they're very busy. Um, they, Um, Um, Uh, Transcripts provided by Transcription Outsourcing, LLC. And then the last one is, um, Fusion. That's the one to one nines. They still adopt the strategy of merging, but it's usually merging with a person or a select few people. Um, they take on, uh, the attitudes, ideas, and feelings of others, uh, since it feels too difficult to stand on their own. Um, it's very interesting when Beth and I talk about my role as a pastor and some of the gender roles that came along with it. We were both responding to the same norms and expectations, but we did so radically different. Um, I never felt like I could measure up to the sort of the patriarchal, uh, uh, head of household Christian husband. I never felt confident in that role nor did I ever Because of I'm a six I never perceived my role as that I was the head and that she was to follow I always wanted to do it with her because of my lack of confidence in that role But she was always deferring to me. It was it suited her to have those expectations. So in her mind, she was always deferring to me because I was the head of the home, but she's also a one to one nine. And so she would defer to a husband anyway, or to a spouse, um, because she was a one to one nine. But it's interesting that we were both trying to live up to this expected role, but none of neither one of us felt that we could or capable of doing it experience a lot of shame regarding it. Whenever they don't feel in line with these small group of people in relationships, um, they have some internal anxiety because they tend to lose themselves and their identity in the process of trying to accommodate to these people. And so they're always anxious about our Are these other people happy with him? Um, if the other people aren't happy, they often associate that it's their fault that they're not happy. They blame themselves, internalize it, versus um, seeing that no, they're just, this other person's having their own experience. This causes them an internal battle between their desire to be themselves, but also to desire to Nines can be very autonomous. They want to be their own person. They They want to be undisturbed by other things around them, so they want autonomy, but they have this strong inclination to merge with other people, um, and so they can resemble a type four or a type six looking and reading other people, um, their kind. shy, gentle, and take on, take in the world with awe and wonder like a child, but their challenge is they can be self forgetting, abandoning themselves to the comfort of others. They can be too dependent on others for their identity and struggle to emerge and assert themselves. Um, do you want to add anything? I mean you're, you've been married to a nine for a number of years now. Any thoughts? What is, what's Carrie's subtype? Yeah, subtype.

Adam: 30:06

Carrie will tell you, uh, and I agree with her that her subtype is self preservation. Um, yeah, she, um, what is it? What is it? You said there at the end can be, um, uh, uh, strong willed. Can be, uh, you said something like stubborn to a fault was, I think a phrase that you used. Um, I mean, no, she's obviously she's incredible and she's a better, better human being than I am, but she, she definitely notices, um, she has to fight really hard not to fall asleep to herself and forget herself. Um, she's pretty attuned to her people, her tribe. Um, she is very attuned to me. I think I see the one to one show up in our relationship a

Jeff: 30:54

Mm hmm.

Adam: 30:55

a lot. Um, but her sort of default is, is ensuring that she doesn't, she doesn't fail to show up to herself for herself and that she gets outside of her comfort zone and her routines and men. Um, God's always been, you know, throughout our 20 years of, of marriage, he keeps putting her in situations and positions where she would never put herself, uh, outside of her comfort zone. And she really thrives in those, I just, you know, just to honor her. She really does thrive when she's in those contexts, but if she allowed herself, she would, um, She would, you know, she would forget her own voice and I, you know, it just seems that the Lord won't let her do that. Oh, she keeps, keeps, keeps pushing her.

Jeff: 31:45

right? Yeah.

Adam: 31:46

yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And so I, she's definitely, I definitely see the self preservation, but I see all three in her.

Jeff: 31:52

Yeah.

Adam: 31:53

Um, yeah, well, shall we?

Jeff: 31:55

When I think about, um, uh, particularly in Carrie's story, you know, she, her parents had her when she was very young or they were very young. And it's interesting you say that self press because that was a, that's a big part of her story is. just surviving in life. And so I do wonder what, how story and circumstances, the nature, nurture stuff impacts some of these, or it seems to bring emphasis to the idea of, um, these instincts and why we would focus on some are one versus the other two.

Adam: 32:33

Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Well, the brain doesn't forget, you know, if, if, if it's hardwired for connection and protection, that's certainly gonna be filtered through story and body keeps the score and the brain remembers. And so, yeah, I think she, the, the, she, she remembers and her body remembers ways that she had to use these different instincts growing up. And, um, and so, um, you know, that that's certainly at play, certainly at play.

Jeff: 33:03

that's so interesting. You say it that way, how these instincts work. And had to use all of them because I, in my own life, as we mentioned in the previous episode, I see all three coming up and I needed all three

Adam: 33:19

Yep.

Jeff: 33:19

my life, uh, in light of the family of origin that I had, where I, they weren't as involved as we, I just said, you know, my dad being a more self presenting. Uh, what would my mom would have been? Um, She probably would have been a self. No, she was much more of a social too.

Adam: 33:42

It's so funny, man. My mom, I would absolutely, my mom and dad just, we just had this conversation, uh, that my dad is a self pres nine. My mom is a social too,

Jeff: 33:54

Wow. it,

Adam: 33:56

know, for our listeners, for our listeners, Jeff and I share a ton of these, uh, overlap, these things that are the same. So we're both married to nines, our wedding anniversaries, the same day. Um, our, we, but we learned one time that our code. To get into our iPhone. Both of us use our old football, uh, Jersey number. Um, our parents, our parents,

Jeff: 34:20

to get into my phone because I

Adam: 34:21

well, they don't, but they don't,

Jeff: 34:22

up. I was

Adam: 34:23

don't know you're

Jeff: 34:25

a successful athlete, Adam. So, uh, I'm on the internet. You, you were not. So, you wouldn't. Matter of fact, I mean, I, let's be honest, Adam. I mean, you're talking to a hall of

Adam: 34:36

Hall of famer, hall of famer. I knew this was where we were going. I knew it. I knew it in the university of Kansas, Rock Chalk Jayhawk hall of fame, El McCordo. What's the bowl you guys played in?

Jeff: 34:51

uh, that's funny that you say it that way. What is the ball? not

Adam: 34:56

Well, I

Jeff: 34:57

bowl games.

Adam: 34:58

I said it like that. I

Jeff: 35:00

That's an insult.

Adam: 35:04

Emphasis on the definite article, the bowl that you guys played in. Hey, listen, it's more than it's more, I've never played in a bowl. So, you know, there you go. I've never, I've never played in Now the Razorbacks

Jeff: 35:20

they did. Okay. So I did play for the university of Kansas when the university of Missouri, the university of Kansas rivalry dates back to the civil war. It's the oldest rivalry West of the Mississippi, but it was once referred to as the toilet bowl. Um, because it was such an irrelevant game, but, uh, yes, we were the 1995 Aloha bowl champions. Number nine the nation just to remind you that one day previous now, we're not too bad. We're actually looking really good That's a whole nother discussion man. These poor listeners. They've been listening to Beth and now here we are randomly talking about sports

Adam: 36:08

Listen, you know, you're, you're, you get what you get with us. You know, it's, it's all inclusive. It's an all inclusive package. You know, you get

Jeff: 36:16

That's right, hey, this is like a cruise

Adam: 36:20

Yeah,

Jeff: 36:20

if you want to go rest, we're gonna let you rest. We're gonna let you heal We're gonna take you to the spa, but sometimes we need to take you to the dance party

Adam: 36:28

that's right. And

Jeff: 36:29

We need to take you to the comedy show, like

Adam: 36:32

Sometimes we got to hit up the buffet, you know, or,

Jeff: 36:36

this is El Mocordo and the Jackal cruise line.

Adam: 36:41

but it's funny to bring it all the way back. I just realizing that even our parents, I've known that you're, you know, I've known that our, both our parents shared an Engram type, but even the same subtype is interesting. Um, fascinating, fascinating stuff, my friend.

Jeff: 36:55

Hey, well, let's dive into the last one. This is going to finish out our series here. The, the type ones, you know, they're always number one in our hearts, but sometimes they're last on the, the Enneagram walk in the wheel.

Adam: 37:07

Yeah, Jesus said the last will be first and

Jeff: 37:10

Of course, ones would love to think that.

Adam: 37:13

Ones would love to think that so we save the best for last all you type ones Self preservation ones. These are uh, these are the most perfectionistic of all the type one subtypes Um, but they're really focused on perfecting themselves More than they're perfecting others. So it's not that you're not gonna You're not gonna experience them Typically as being more judgmental, the more judgmental type or self righteous type where they're kind of judging you or trying to perfect you, their inner critic is aimed, uh, more so at themselves and they want to refine themselves in all areas of life, nutrition, fitness, finances, you name it, uh, image. I mean, they, they want to constantly grow and get better in all of these areas. And they, they tend to repress their resentment and instead they use their energy to Um, to really refine themselves. Like I said, perfect themselves. Uh, people experience them as warm and friendly. Um, they, uh, they don't allow others to see the degree to which their inner critic is driving and berating them. They, it's a, they feel that it's a sin to be angry. So it's, or it's wrong. You know, that's the thing is type ones are afraid of being wrong or doing bad or being bad. And so they don't want you to, they don't want you to know that they're angry. They repress their anger and you experience a lot of warmth from them. Um, their strengths are that they're organized, structured, punctual. They have a particular gift for bringing order to chaos. Um, so they're great for that. Uh, challenges can be overly critical of themselves, can be rigid, can struggle to relax. There can be almost a type six, uh, self preservation, six anxious energy to a type one. Um, so if, if you're on vacation with them, you're going to have to help them first of all, take a vacation. And then when they take a vacation, take the vacation, you know, they're the stereotype is if you have a self preservation one on vacation, they're the ones who are going to over program the vacation. Everything is. Everything is mapped out. We got to do this. Then we're going to do that. And we're going to go from here to do this. We're going to do that. And you know, meanwhile, you know, your sevens and, and your eights and anybody else who's on the vacation are like, wait a minute, let's, let's relax. Uh, let's have some fun. And so you might have to help yourself preservation one friends to, uh, you know, uh, like loosen up the tie a little bit, or, Pour that second drink, you know, like have, have some fun, relax. Um, all right, social, social ones. Sometimes we call these the teachers. Um, this subtype sees themselves as a role model. They, they, uh, pride themselves in finding the right way to do something and having the perfect stance on all issues and all problems. Um, they, they like demonstrating their correct views and their correct ways to others. Um, they can come across as rigid, uh, not allow much room for other perspectives or other interpretations. It can be sort of a my way or the highway sometimes with a social one. Um, but again, They're, they're just, they're trying to reform the group. So whereas a self preservation one is focused on reforming themselves, the social ones trying to do good by the group that it's, it's sometimes it's, they're not, they're not trying to come across judgmental. They think they're honestly doing what's best for their group. And so they have these ideas, these ideals, these perspectives, these right ways, and they're going to try to enforce those standards. Onto the group now that can come across as judgmental. Um, there's a high moral standard And it can be really hard for, for social ones to not measure every other opinion or every other point of view against those high standards. Their high moral compass is a strength. I mean, that's the strengths of the social ones is the high moral compass. They're great teachers, strong capacity for leadership, lots of dedication, challenges. If they're not careful, again, they're going to manifest as self righteous. They're going to be intolerant. Of anybody that's different from them or, you know, believes differently or has a different point of view and they can struggle to accept those who are different. And that can be a challenge. You can see how that could really cause some, some problems in their, in their groups. Um, lastly, the one to one ones, uh, we call these the zealous ones. This is your counter type, um, because they're more expressive of their anger. They're, they're not, they're deeply in touch with their anger and they're more expressive of it. They're more honest about it. They're, they're a bit more impulsive than other ones. Um, so whereas other ones kind of are straight laced, Organized, put together, kind of manifesting that sort of image. Uh, a, a one to one type one, uh, is going to be, you know, more impulsive. I'm angry and I'm gonna let you know about it. Sometimes they can even mistype as an eight. For that reason, there, Intensely focused on reforming and perfecting, um, others, but, but, you know, again, it's focused on one to one relationships where not, not, not, not society as a whole, but, but, um, just on a select few people, they feel a personal responsibility to change people for the better. And, um, they know the right way that things should be done. And they're not afraid to, to voice that passionately. Their strengths are, they are great reformers. I mean, they really are. And they're, they're very passionate. They have a lot of, they can have a lot of healthy anger. You know, healthy anger is just passion. Um, and that, that healthy anger can get some things done. It really can. Now the challenge is, is that they can be overly judgmental. They can be too intense. And if they're not careful, they can overstep their boundaries and lay their ways and their principles onto other people. And that of course can cause frustration and hurt when that happens. So they have to be careful with that. So Jeff, that is the subtypes for our, our type one friends.

Jeff: 43:28

Oh, that's awesome. Well, everybody, we really hope that you've uh, enjoyed uh, just seeing types through a radically different lens that may be types that, you know, You're very surprised by that. How can they be that type and be so different than what our expectations are? Stereotypes might be, but knowing the lens of the subtypes really gives us insight into how people work and why they're presenting to us in particular ways and the opportunity for us to move towards them with curiosity and with compassion to ourselves. And also to other people realize, you know, like, I love the way that, um, Adam's been phrasing it through this series about that. We were created to look for connection and protection, and these are these instincts are ways in which we go about doing it, but through the style of an Enneagram style of relating. So we hope you've appreciated this. Um, be sure to check out the show notes. There's going to be opportunities. We've got downloads, free downloads for you to have a summary of these subtypes and PDF form, uh, be sure to check out the, your Enneagram coach blog, where there'll be a, uh, blog there that'll list out all of this in text form that you can come back to at any time, whenever you are in conversations with your friends and family members, but we've hope you've enjoyed this session. series as we've talked through the different subtypes, uh, and the instincts and how they show up for each of the Enneagram types. Um, we look, hopefully you're going to be staying around with Adam and I as we, uh, continue to embark and kind of take, uh, give Beth a break and, um, Yeah, step in for her and continuing to offer you some great Enneagram content. That's going to help you to experience your and understand yourself with astonishing clarity. Because our real dream and hope is, is that you'd be able to break free from the fear, self condemnation and shame to experience the kindness, the love, the compassion of having a Intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. Uh, Adam, is there anything else you'd like to say before we go?

Adam: 45:32

Yeah, I just hope that all of you will continue to join Jeff and myself on this virtual, all inclusive Enneagram journey cruise ship that you're on. And

Jeff: 45:44

That's going to be our new closing moving forward, Adam. That's good. It's great

Adam: 45:48

That's right. You're going to get

Jeff: 45:50

on a board. We're expecting you.

Adam: 45:57

All I can think about. Yeah, it is. And all I can think about now is the Gilligan Island song.

Jeff: 46:02

Oh, that's probably more appropriate. Yeah.

Adam: 46:06

because every single, every single podcast episode we do could easily be a three hour tour. It's like anybody else could do this episode in 30 minutes and you've got two sixes on here that, oh my gosh, we could go on

Jeff: 46:24

I thought it was going to be this elevated, we're on a cruise, no, we're, this is Gilligan's Island. That's all it is.

Adam: 46:32

That's all it is. And you're stuck with us. And we hope you'll stay stuck with us we like being stuck with you.

Jeff: 46:45

Well be sure, uh, to get your ticket to ride, uh, to hit, smash that subscribe button and uh, be sure to check in with us next time. We'll see you

Adam: 46:56

We really, we really love hanging out with you guys. And Jeff, I love doing this with you. And we'll be excited to have Beth back. And we're also very excited to give her a much needed sabbatical. And so, um, friends remember, um, as we say each week in each episode, the Enneagram Uh, only reveals your need for Jesus, not your need to work harder. It's the gospel that transforms us. Thanks for joining us. And we'll see you in the next episode..